Reminded in Balance within

Nearing my mid 50’s and not able to tolerate much food or certain types. Went out last night and threw it all to the wind yet taking care not to overdo it. Seemed like a good idea.... I blew it and suffered all night and now into the next day. I’ve been reminded. Yet there I am in kitchen, eating away. I have come to realize that I have never known myself very well. I dabble in all kinds of ideas (other peoples ideas usually) only to switch from one to the next. Seems like a good idea at the time only to change my mind again and go with another “good idea”. It struck me this morning that I don’t know what I want or where I want to be. I feel as though I’m just wasting time here. All the while my body is changing adding to this frustration. Defeat. Sadness. Now what? Silence is a good place to start. I know because I have always come back to this. Calmness.