All the Feels in Everyday Musings of a Very Tired Mama

Ugh, I sobbed into the dishwater as I was doing dishes today. I hate that Babe and I aren’t really communicating lately. We’re just co-existing. He gets home and usually sits around with his tablet or phone. We barely speak unless necessary. But it’s not like he’s mad about something. It’s more like he’s not really here. Not present. Not present for me and worse, not present for his children. As a result, I find myself having to go overboard with giving everyone enough attention. Every night before bed, I read Pickle books. I usually then go back out in the livingroom and Babe and I will watch TV or whatever. But lately I feel like “why bother” and I just go to bed. I don’t say anything. He doesn’t say anything. Like he doesn’t care if I am there or not. Then he comes to bed usually way late and then he’s gone when I wake up because he works crazy overtime and I have been trying to walk Pickle to and from school as much as possible. Its great exercise and cuts down on gas.
Usually we walk 2-3 days a week. This week its gonna be 4. The only day we haven’t done it was Tuesday because I took Pickle to the psychiatrist. After talking to the psychiatrist, she thinks he may not be on the spectrum. She is not even sure he has ADHD. She said prescribing stimulants if there is no ADHD can make things worse, so she wants their psychologist to do more evaluations. She is thinking he might have anxiety, OCD and/or Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Its tough because he exhibits so many behaviors that are present in a bunch of different disorders. So the psychologist should be calling in about 2 weeks and then we should get an appointment about 2 weeks after that. Even though she cannot diagnose ASD (we have to wait for July for that) she may be able to get some insight on other behaviors.
Pickle’s next IEP meeting is next Wednesday. The social worker and psychologist have been doing some testing with him and last meeting we put a behavior plan in place so this is also kind of a progress report on how that has been going.
I applied for a remote Article Marketing job, waiting to hear back. I have decided that I want to get a part time job and as long as it pays enough to come out ahead, I would like to get Booboo into part time daycare. For one, she needs to be around other babies. And for two, I need to be around adults and I want to get some experience in something like copywriting or content management. I am really excited about getting back to my writing. I entered a writing contest-a monthly one where the winner is announced at the beginning of each month. You have to write a 53 word story. It’s challenging and gets the creative juices flowing. I also have two short stories ready and 3 satire/funny pet obituaries. I need to find some writing prompts so I can have a wide range of samples at the ready for job applications.

I never know how to properly end entries. Bye.