A Bit... in 2019

I haven’t written much lately… mainly I’ve just been too busy.

The last time I wrote it was Sunday. The next day I stayed home from work because I just felt like hell. My ex hubby came up around noon because he was going to clean the barn for me. We were outside fiddling with the hose when we heard a baby cry and ran up to find one of my goats had just had triplets. So we moved them into the front stall where it’s cleaner until we finished with the barn. She had 2 boys and a girl.

So the next night my bff and her hubby and my ex hubby came over for dinner and to hang out. I picked up James and brought him over. I made my own spaghetti sauce and fresh pasta and chicken parm and garlic bread. It was delicious. James was fairly unconscious most of the time because he didn’t get much sleep that day. We all had fun though and I showed everyone the triplets and decided to put one of the goats up in a different stall. Took James home later and got back late.

The next morning I checked on goats and apparently good call on my part bc the goat we locked up had triplets as well, but 2 of them were stillborn. I got the one baby, a boy, cleaned up and my ex hubby came up to bury the other 2 while I was at work. All of hers were boys.

That night I ended up at James’s house again. I love cuddling that boy. Same thing happened on Thursday.

Friday morning I got my 3rd set of triplets. It was like clockwork Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I called out of work bc I was just stressed and done. She had 2 girls and a boy. The boy was stillborn. I had to call the ex hubby again. He helped me rearrange goats bc I was running out of stalls for baby suites. We went and bought 4 more bales of straw because it was below freezing that morning. Got everyone squared away and then I drove my pickup over to my parents house bc I needed to drop it off at a guy’s house to have a power steering hose on it changed. Did that and got lunch with my mom and then my dad took me home. I showed him all the babies and got a few things done before heading to James’s house.

We ended up going to Logan’s bc I had a gc I wanted to use. Then we cuddled up and watched GOT and went to sleep before midnight. I had some really fucked up dreams… like never before have I had such disturbing dreams. I woke up at some point in the middle of the night and his TV was making weird noises and so I woke him trying to get up and turn it off so he did it and eventually I got back to sleep. The next morning I was completely unconscious bc of it and he got up and made me breakfast in bed which was super sweet. Scrambled eggs and toast. He played video games and then we went out and went to Kroger, a comic book shop, and Walmart. I got stuff to make dinner and breakfast. After we got back we cuddled for a bit and then I went home to take animals out and give out meds and feed everyone.

I was only gone maybe 4 hours total, but while I was gone he messaged me asking if everything was ok and I told him yeah and asked if he was ok and he said yeah he just missed me. It was really sweet. That night I made him french onion burgers and mashed potatoes. He really liked it. The next morning I got up and made him sausage links and french toast. I hung around longer than I should have honestly. I had told him I had to go home to take care of animals and he asked if I was coming back later. Argh… I wasn’t planning on it, but I hate being away from him.

So I went home and started taking care of everything and cleaning. I’d told JM I’d have lunch with him that day so he showed up and then my dad called saying my truck was ready so I went to eat with JM and had him drop me at my parents house so I could drive my truck back. Then I fed everyone and went back to James’s house. Stayed until he had to leave for work around 10:45 and headed home. Changed the sheets and went to bed.

I stayed home yesterday and my ex hubby came over and I got some cleaning done and had to change the sheets again and we hung out and smoked hookah. Pretty decent day but I missed James. Today I completely forgot my bottle of water I normally bring so I had to stop at the gas station and I got a fountain coke and 2 bottles of this body armor drink that has a bunch of vitamins in it. I gotta say I’m definitely more alert than usual after drinking it. Saving the other bottle for tomorrow. Tonight is our hangout night and I asked James the other day if he wanted to come but he said he was going to pass and I get it… he has to work tonight. So I probably won’t see him until tomorrow at the earliest. Bleh…

I’m kinda super head over heels for him, but at the same time I don’t want to rush it and I don’t know how he feels. And the last time I used the L word it didn’t get reciprocated and it was just a terrible experience and I don’t want to repeat that so I’ve been extra careful with my word choices. He calls me love or babydoll or baby all the time. It’s been a month and a half… I feel like I need to wait a while longer before saying anything stupid. I really just don’t want to be the first one to say it. Just ugh…

Last updated July 10, 2020