January 13, 2019 in Letters to my Friend

Dear Friend,

This morning I woke up at 8 (good enough, close to 8 hours of sleep) and I read the conversation between my mom and my sister (we have a family group chat) and my mom admitted to not spending enough time with us when we were a child, and I’ve been crying the whole morning til now. You know when you cry because you feel sorry for your own past self? And of course I think about you and how you have been like a parent to me, giving me the emotional tools to cope with painful situations of life. I think I’ll write you again.

Anyway yeah, I’ve been crying. And now I need to get working. I had breakfast. Now I’m going to count how many of these things I have which I need to hand out to people. DONE.

I have 17. This is going to be tough.

I need to get out there and get on with it. It’s fine. No one’s look at me. No one’s judging.

Onto my first task of the day: Rosary. DONE! Pretty nice.

I probably won’t make it to 11 AM mass. Maybe I’ll aim for 12:30 PM mass, but I’ll come early and stay late afterwards to deliver these things. Why did I even promise to do this, arrg! It’s not that I don’t have enough time to get too 11 AM! It’s just I’m still crying and I don’t look pretty.

Today’s task list:
1. -rosary.
2. -30 minutes nature essay
3. -30 minutes prepping for class
4. -30 minutes for techne paper
5. -30 minutes applying for some conference, seminar, or fellowship/ or responding to email. This is a flexible slot.
6. -30 minutes blogging about NYC
7. -30 minutes vocal exercise, conditions permitting.
8. -35 minutes LSAT
9. -30 minutes fixing AMA paper.
10. -30 minutes for book review
11. -30 minutes law PS
12. -30 minutes exercise

Where is my phone? This is annoying but oh well. First, nature paper. DONE. Oh boy I wish I had more time than that to work on this paper.
Second task is also DONE.

I was through with the 4th task. Then I was deliberating too long about how I was gonna do something. Then I went home and made dinner and listened to some drama my roommate was having with her life. Now it’s 9:30 and I still have 8 tasks to do!!!

Well just get on with it shall we. The flexible slot is next. Maybe I’ll spend it all to compose a very brief email that I have been procrastinating on for so long.

Pretty cool. I worked from 9:30 to 12 PM, almost constantly. I was focusing on the AMA paper. I need to edit it for the deadline to be considered for the Best Graduate Paper award. I stand no chance for it, but I’d like to know I have tried.

I didn’t make it publish this post before I fell asleep! Here goes.

I still think about you a lot. Before you think it’s weird, no, it’s not a crush. I think about you for inspiration.

Love,
Your fangirl.