January 09, 2019 in Letters to my Friend

Dear friend,

This morning, I got up early for my 3-hour work shift at the library. Our supervisor kindly brought us bagels. I had a pretzel-flavored bagel (who knows, right?) with strawberry cream-cheese. I’m making an effort to eat healthy on my own, but free and unhealthy food thwarts it sometimes.

I like my supervisor. She has a good balance between being strict and no-nonsense, with maintaining an open and friendly work environment.

Onto making my day productive. I just made myself a bananas blueberries and peanut butter smoothie. It is already 3 Pm, Gee. I’m thinking of getting 9 hours of sleep each night so I’ll have more energy during the day, but implementing this plan had been a struggle.

Clean up my kitchen. DONE.
Text back my roommate. DONE.

My roommate is just like… nice these days. I’m questioning my decision to move out. Oh well my lease doesn’t end for 6 months.

Take a 30 minutes long nap. DONE. OK, it was actually a 1.5 hours long nap. I’m OK with that. Getting enough sleep is important.
Set up my work table. DONE.

I write DONE before I actually do the task. It is more motivating that way.

Clean up my room so it looks presentable to onlookers. DONE. Where do you dispose of earphones that only work on one ear?
Put shoelaces back onto my white pair of tennis shoes. DONE.

Doing these mundane tasks feels like I’m taking time away from real work, but they reduce anxiety.

My computer is now updating. I’m doing one Latin lesson on Memrise. DONE.
My roommate is still out so I did a 30 minute session of vocal warm up. DONE.
Then I had dinner. DONE.

(Then I realized I closed prosebox without saving my entry, so I lost a few line).

I feel like I have too much on my plate and not enough time to take care of my health. I haven’t even begun to fulfill the resolution to exercise more each day. I really want to get in shape. I already know that I’m not pretty. I just have a nice smile, and some other saving qualities, such as the fact that I can provide for myself. The least thing I can do is to be in shape. I got the diet part sort of okay. I love kale and blueberries (except that the latter is so expensive!). Still, I need to exercise. What can I do? Sure, I love to exercise. Yes it is painful, but like most people I like the feeling afterward. I just feel like exercise takes away time that I could be doing something else.

But I have no problem taking time away watching YouTube, right? But my reasoning is that, it’s my relaxing activity. I can’t just be doing productive activity all day!

So how about, I get 9 hours of sleep every day, and not watch YouTube anymore. How about that? (except for when I’m eating, or during pomodoro breaks, or exercising indoors).

Okay, fine. Half an hour to edit my paper for the AMA conference. DONE.

My roommate called and talked for a whole hour on the phone about problems with her job. I don’t know how to set and keep boundaries. I need to get better at this.

My, this entry is so messy! Let’s just say I’m using Prosebox to record my day, that’s all.

I miss you so much, Friend. You, the real person. I didn’t image you up. I’m just imagining talking to you. Why do you never acknowledge my affectionate statements? I love you like I love a parent, okay? Thank you for being there for me and being my source of comfort.

I think I’ll improve tonight by going to bed at 10 PM, and wake up at 6 AM to exercise. For now, I’ll spend half an hour blogging about my recent New York trip with my sister. My parents are waiting for it.

Love,
Your fangirl.