Vision in Das Book

I got in! The interview ended Saturday and they called me Monday - what an awesome turn-around. Just one of the many perks of it being such a teeny tiny school. I am so excited and pleased and proud and glad that I have found such a perfectly fitting program for myself.

In other news, today I'm going to get my eyes "sandblasted by a laser" so that, hopefully, I don't have to wear glasses anymore. I was not a good candidate for actual LASIK, as apparently my corneas are kind of thin, but I'm on board for PRK. Apparently PRK is "less risky" because they don't slice a flap off my eye (which is what they do with LASIK, and the flap never actually heals back onto the eye - it remains forever flappable! Freaky!) but it takes significantly longer to heal from and I will be fairly unable to see clearly for the next... week to a month.

I'm pretty anxious about this. I really, really like to be able to see. I know, everyone does. But I am one of those people who, as soon as it starts raining, turns her windshield wipers on. Alex is always like, "Why do you need them, you can see through the rain just fine!" Which, is true at times, but it really bothers me to not have 100% clarity. So I think it will be a trying month. Luckily, I don't have any obligations until the end of March, when I go cook for the Buddhist Retreat. Until then, Alex and I are staying with his parents in Portland.

Which brings up a slew of awkwardness and discomfort, as it's a pretty small place and I don't ever feel like we have much privacy. And his dad recently informed me that, "I never was sure about whether you were good enough for our son, but recently you've shown me that you are." Um, nice sentiment but thanks for telling me you've not really liked me for the past year and a half??? Blargh.

So we're trying to set ourselves up with busy-ness and things. We are going to sign up for a month-pass at a Bikram studio. I sort of hate Bikram because it's completely repetitive and it doesn't have any of the "fluffy" nice-feeling, caring aspects that a lot of yoga programs do, but they always offer the first month of classes for like $30, so we can go every day and sweat our asses off and get super fit, which I'm very excited for.

This is the first time in my life I've felt self-conscious of my body. I gained about ten pounds in the fall and have, in the very back of my mind, been trying subtly to shed them and they haven't budged at all. Meanwhile Alex has become super fit. And he's always admiring sexy people. Which, I do too, but it makes me feel anxious or worried that he's not stoked about the new additions to my midsection. Ugh. Anyways. Bikram for a month should have a pretty positive impact, and it will get us out of the house every day and you can do yoga when you can't see, right?

Other than that, I am downloading shit tons of audiobooks. I really don't know how else I'm going to occupy myself. It's hard to plan for because I'm not sure just how blurry things are going to be. My friend suggested that I do some painting, which is always fun and interesting, hopefully won't be frustrating with limited vision. I'm trying to just think of this as a time where I'm forced to go with the flow and revel in an entirely different way to experience life. And it's going to be SO WORTH IT! Vision for life! Without glasses! Without trying, about once a year, whatever "new technology" they've come up with for contacts to make them better! They are never better. They hurt my damn eyes.

Blurry world, here I come!