Planning in Letters to my Friend

Dear Friend,

I’m still pretty high from getting that abstracted accepted. My moods vary by circumstances. It’s kind of annoying sometimes. I just received a good news, now I can’t think about anything to be worried about anymore. Actually, a bit of worrying is good– it keeps you focus. Now I can’t focus. And I’m all positive and optimistic about the future, making grandiose plans, imagining all the glories. It ain’t good, I don’t think. About a week ago, I received a rejection email, and I was all depressed and laying in bed and watching Youtube all day, tears rolling down my face.

No I don’t have Bipolar Disorder! The real thing is much more serious than this. I’m still able to function normally. I’m just a person with mood swings, oh well. I’m here to tell my experience.

To do list now:
-Finish another abstract submission– whatever comes. I’m trying to be more bold and fearless.
-Plan for a 3-day vacation in NYC with my sister. We’re cheap travelers. Vacation is pushed on us by our parents, because we never go out.
-Apply for law school– I’m so scattered and confused. I hate being 25 and scattered and confused about my career track. This is another long story.
-Finish this paper for my grad class.
-I have so many plans to improve myself for a career I might not have (i.e. becoming a philosophy professor): reach out to conferences and publishers, study logic, apply for jobs, hone my language skills, practice writing etc.

It’s rather sad, working for something that you know will not work out. It’s like dating someone while knowing that it won’t last for a reason that has nothing to do with either of you. Oh what do I know. I’ve never dated.

My moods have changed since the beginning of this entry! Ha! It’s only because prosebox crashed on me this morning, so I’m finishing this up after 12 hours.

Love,
Your fangirl.