not x-mas in A New Chapter

This year Christmas does not feel like Christmas.
I have to work through most of December. I could have really thrown a fit about it but work is offering to pay any unused vacation time for the first time. I have quite a lot so I would be able to really invest that towards some debt that needs to go.

The other thing, is the passing of my girlfriend’s stepfather.
It was always a big elephant in the room. They never had the best relationship but he still provided a positive male role model in her life (her biological father never met her because he is an abuser, her “father” who was with her the first few years of her life passed away from cancer when she was a child.)

We always got along because he was Italian-American from up north. However, Michael had serious weight issues. He had also reached the point of no return. He had already received a gastric bypass and it didn’t work. Every time we saw him we just felt bad since it was hard to talk to him and we could tell he was struggling.

It has been a rollercoaster for my girlfriend, even though I also mourn his passing.
She was upset at him at first for doing this to her mother..he never really tried to fix his situation. He would sneak candy and even towards the final days..one of the last things that happened was that his doctor asked him to check himself into the hospital..he refused since he had an appointment in a few days. Less than 24 hours later, he had passed.

I primarily feel bad for the mother, she is a nice lady who has been through a lot.

Surprisingly this year, my mom and sister went all out and got me a ton of stuff that I wanted. I am pretty happy with that I suppose.

I guess holidays lose their meaning when we are all depressed and have to work.

Oh, another close person from my childhood passed away recently too.

My mother comes from an extremely wealthy family. I have never really met her side of the family well but all I know is that they’re huge assholes. I had a couple of other people that kind of filled their roles, friends of my mother. Jose, my godmother’s brother, was there a lot during my childhood. He is a pretty memorable dude also..well traveled, weird interests in the paranormal/science fiction, and he just had “that” personality that was memorable. Kinda quirky.

The man had been suffering from health issues for a very long time.
At first we were informed that it was a heart attack but later on we found out he took his life. He felt like too much of a burden and just didn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.
I have good memories of him and it touched my heart to hear that.
I don’t blame him or judge him for the actions he took..the last time I saw him he was not functioning properly. He struggled a lot health wise.
I guess it just sucks when someone we love and care about..and that we know is a genuinely good person passes away. I only saw him every few years but I always loved picking his brain about all the weird stuff he was into.
My godmother is a saint (literally) and also deserves none of this.
This woman is the role model Catholic and I swear I have never seen her do harm. If when I die there is a heaven, I am going to hope she put in a really good recommendation letter for me. She always helped the poor, worked for orphanages, did fundraisers, etc.

Overall, I would say it has been a good year. The second half got a bit rough and bumpy but..we pulled through. I am hoping for great things for 2019..keyword hoping.