There is more in life for you. It's out there. I know you don't feel it right now because you are still in the midst of mourning your marriage, but it IS. these things take time to heal. You have held on to the hope of working something out and I think only recently come to realize it's time to move on. No one moves on at the same pace, sometimes it's fast, sometimes it's slow. The above noter is right - you ARE worth more. We all make mistakes in life, but we pick ourselves up after the fall. It's time to rediscover yourself and all the things that make you YOU. Things I know about you just from you writing: You are intelligent, you are passionate, you have a big heart, you have an open heart, you are a good friend. There are people out there looking for this. Hang in there.