Scary Chatterboxing in The Road Ahead

I feel most alive when the hoofbeats of Deaths horse pound in my veins and my souls fit to explode from my frame, a spiritual supernova that will engulf me and leave a tear in the world where I used to be.

I don’t want to sleep right now though. I want to talk about the world and what an amazing and ravishing place it is. I want to smile about the places I’ve been, laugh at all the jokes I’ve heard and try to remember why the fuck I’ve stuck around this long.

But I’m just talking into the void. At least, I’m talking. At least, I’m talking. Silence is golden or silence is death. I’ve gone too quiet and still, my unease festered and I don’t know where to go with any of it. And now that I fear I’m near my end, my stream of consciousness bursts forth from its rickety dam and my stomach drops to make room for my lungs and I fear once I start screaming I won’t stop until I can’t. At least, I’d be screaming. Silence is golden or silence is death.

I have to keep talking. I don’t know my audience. I don’t know if it’s worth it. I’m bad at being a person. Lol. I’ve made everything up as I went along, my only guide being how not to be. Im an unfocused force of goodness and love but I’m so lost in my sadness. Sometimes I don’t know where I am and then I remember it doesn’t matter.