I keep thinking of stuff I want to share here, and then I think I have to share something else first so that will make sense. Then I remember I ought to share something else first, so that part will make sense, and eventually I have traced the story back to a starting point.
This story starts with play parties. My wife volunteered with an organization that worked to prevent domestic violence in LGBT relationships. One of the people she worked with was married to a man whose profession was making things with leather. The two of them were very open about their leather-centered BDSM relationship and they regularly threw invitation-only play parties.
One day my wife came home ecstatic to share that she’d been given an invite. This was something she’d been wanting for a long time. The parties had a very specific set of rules. Any type of costume, lingerie, or plain nudity was permitted. Not penetration sex acts were allowed. Oral sex was allowed but only in cases where it was planned in advance and all consent was confirmed. Pretty much any type of BDSM bondage and torture was not only allowed but strongly encouraged. One important rule was that men were absolutely forbidden from having orgasms at the party, while women could cum freely. By today’s standards, I think the rules would be considered transphobic because they were based strongly on the male/female binary.
The parties generally started at 9:00 and ran until 2:00 am. At this point, it was widely understood that many people from the parties immediately went to homes and hotel rooms and had the forbidden sex that had been building up at the party.
I was never really excited about going to these parties and while my wife went to nearly all of them (they occurred twice per month), I went to maybe 1/4 of them with her. She had a solution to my discomfort with the parties: she would demand that I sit by her side naked and not speak to anyone. The dom/sub relationship was widely understood and accepted at these parties, and no one thought anything of my sitting naked by her side in silence for the whole night.
One night at one of the parties that I attended, my wife playfully kissed another woman. Her name was Dani. I told her that I thought it was sexy that she had kissed another woman, and she took that is my permission to start making out with Dani. The two of them started really going at it, and by the time the party ended my wife told me she was going to leave with Dani so they could go somewhere and have sex.
I guess it would be fair to say she was kind of asking my permission, not just telling me she would do that. But she wasn’t expecting me to disagree, and I didn’t. We had previously talked about the idea of her having sex with other people, and it kind of just happened quickly for the first time that night.
I went home alone and a couple hours later I got a text from her that they’d finished having sex and she was on her way home. I remember how matter-of-fact she was when she told me she’d had sex with someone else.
So, that’s part one of the story: how we met Dani.

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