Being a Bit Random in Book Five: Working Through the Maze 2018

(1) I’m not a math guy. I’m a word guy. So tell me if my math is wrong here.
The stars of the Television Show “Friends” were paid $75,000 per episode in season three, $85,000 in season four, $100,000 in season five, $125,000 in season six, $750,000 in seasons seven and eight, and $1 million in seasons nine and ten. If you add those up and divide by 5, you get the “average pay per season.” Take that average pay per season and apply it to “Number of Episodes” each person was in. For instance, David Schwimmer who was in 236 episodes. That means not including Syndication Residuals, Commercial Opportunities, Films… JUST pay for doing the TV Show… he made over 80 million dollars before taxes? Is that right? Is my math on that right?!

Can you imagine?! Honestly, lets say you’re on a 10 day turn around for episodes (sometimes it can be MUCH shorter). Each season has at least 18 episodes, but usually 24. Not every actor is needed for every episode or on every day, but lets be brutal and state that every actor must be on set every day, every episode, running lines, rehearsing, blocking, all of it. That means that each actor was working for at least 240 days (lets bump that to 265 for math reasons and to allow them added time for rehearsals, table reads, promotions, etcetera). Which still arguable leaves 100 days for “side projects, vacation, family time, etc.” per year.

I know at 5‘7 with Fibromyaglia, coming out of Iowa, reaching adulthood in the early or mid- 2000s, I never would have become Matthew Perry nor would I have ever become The Next Matthew Perry… but uh… somewhere there is a multiverse where I tried. Many, actually. And it would be really interesting to talk to those guys. To the one who failed, what path did your life take? What are you doing now? To the one who succeeded, what choices did you make that you otherwise wouldn’t have been able to? What regrets do you have that you dwell on despite success?

(2) I am part of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer fandom pages on Facebook. One thing comes up over and over and over and over again. I may be SUPER wrong (which is why I say it here) but there is one thing that KEEPS COMING UP that bothers the hell out of me.
The majority of Shippers are Spuffy shippers and yet everyone is obsessed with ragging on Xander for being “such a shitty toxic male.”

I’m like.... “WHA?!”

I’m sure if and when I re-watch the series in its entirety I will write at greater length about this (and other topics) but it strikes me as… interesting, if not openly offensive. Granted, many fans take the Soul Perspective. “Nothing Spike did prior to Season 7 of Buffy is his fault because he didn’t have a soul then. Xander, as a human, always had a soul so he is WAY worse.” Why? Because he grew up in an age where “Fag!” was still an acceptable derisive nickname? Because as the only male in a group of females, all who had powers of some kind (past or present) he felt out of place… as someone who wanted to protect his friends and someone who couldn’t? Because he wasn’t the perfect boyfriend? Because he did (lets be honest) fuck up his wedding day, but in a manner that (in universe) should actually be somewhat understandable?

For many… the hatred started SUPER early. Xander was oblivious to Willow, wanted Buffy, and hated Angel. Hating Angel got him on their bad side. Then it cemented in Season Two’s finale when Willow asks Xander to tell Buffy that she was going to try to re-ensoul Angelus. Xander does not tell Buffy but instead says, “Willow said, ‘Kick his ass.” Was it the wrong thing to do? ESPECIALLY in retrospect, yeah. But here’s the thing… I’m a big Angel fan. I’m a Bangel shipper (and a Cangel shipper, to be honest). I liked Angelus and I like Angel. And if given the same opportunity as Xander, I would have said the same thing.
Now… strategically and tactically… it was probably a bad move. Warning that Angel could get his soul back may have significantly altered how the fight went and could have resulted in a much better outcome for all parties. However… we had already seen how vicious, lethal, and dedicated Angel was. He murdered without compunction and without hesitation. Buffy had shown, often, that if she viewed Angelus as Angel… Angelus would have the advantage. If someone wants to murder you and you want that person to love you… sister, you’re in trouble. So, yes. I wouldn’t have said, “Have hope that if you don’t die, if you stop a demon from sucking the world into hell, and if you make sure not to kill the person trying to kill you and helping the demon suck the world into hell… you may get your boyfriend back!” I would have said, “Kick his ass. Be relentless.”

Is Xander “the perfect example of a model man?” Hells no. He was a “mostly realistic portrayal of that kind of guy growing up in the 1990s.” The fact that people who grew up in the 00s have “social problems with him” just means that times change… as they do… and even Captain Kirk’s “liberal futuristic acceptance of women in his crew” is condescending and misogynistic a decade or two later. And that guy was part of the first ever on-air interracial kiss.

(3) Oh, Wife. She’s got Puppy Fever bad. She wants a puppy like yesterday! And each time she brings it up, I tell her that our house needs to be at least House Guest level complete before we invite a Fur Baby into our lives. She acknowledges that is a reasonable request but also acknowledges that it may take many months before we get there (as our bed frame won’t even arrive until Mid December). Herein lies the one difference where she is less practical than I am. She wants a cute, fluffy puppy dog to keep her company in the house and make her feel better… and that is as far as she sees. I see it as… as soon as we get a dog, the dog becomes focus and takes our time and attention. So house stuff doesn’t get dealt with. And I have to become Disciplinarian, Trainer, and Caretaker as Wife won’t want to yell at the dog, discipline the dog, or deal with the dog’s drool, piss, poop, or vomit. At present… of the roughly 13 rooms in our house… the bedroom is about 85% complete, the office is about 78% complete, the Sewing Room is about 93% complete, the bathroom is set up but we need to fix the bathtub in 4 ways, the 3 Season Room is 00% done, the Living Room is 90% done but Wife doesn’t like it, the dinning room is 85% done but we haven’t used it, the kitchen is 98% done but there are still plates, bowls, and glasses everywhere that we don’t know if we have room for. So that is a list “close but not done”. The basement? Forget about it. The closest thing to “done” down there is I set up my TV, PS4, and a chair so that I could maybe play games while Wife was at her parents!

So ultimately, we have lots and lots of work to do to look like we live there because “not done” means “piled with boxes or loose furniture or random junk.” I wouldn’t want a puppy in that environment because it isn’t a safe environment for anything that can’t look after itself if left alone!
https://www.facebook.com/VTaardvark/videos/2202500493411906/

(4) I am a hypocrite. In many ways and about many things and it is something I genuinely try to NOT be but often find myself actually being. It is frustrating. Especially when it comes to CosPlay and Sexuality. And not like… in a general “Oh, Hypocrite” kind of way. Like… directly feeling contradicting opinions on specific issues at the same time kind of thing.

For instance… Bowsette. When that hit the world, I so rapidly became so… just OVER IT! It was like someone opened a floodgate and every woman with an urge INSTANTLY released this giant Bowsette Cosplay Photo Album and it was fucking everywhere. I was bloody well sick of Bowsette after two days. THAT is how nonsensically prolific the damned thing was. It got to the point where it made me angry. I would see lazy Bowsettes of black leather leotard and crown and just thought, “All you’re doing is showing off that you have tits. Stop it! This shit is fucking ridiculous!!!”

But in spite of that… today I saw a Bowsette on a forum and thought, “Wow. She looks good, that’s well done.”

And that made me realize how I can be like that. Like… there are people in the CosPlay community that don’t make money off of the expert or amazing level of their cosplay… but on how fit or attractive or busty they are. They aren’t spending hours putting a costume together… they purchase one, cut the costume in revealing places, and then sell Glamour/Boudoir/Softcore photos of themselves to the point where it becomes their job. They do little but for go to the gym, do their hair and makeup, take mostly naked photos that they claim are loosely associated with cosplay and then sell them. I know it shouldn’t be something that upsets me but it does. AND YET… I do often find myself thinking things like “Damn, that is a nice body. She’s hot.” Stuff like that. Hypocrite and complicated place to be. I disagree with what you’re doing, but I like it.

Why do I disagree? Besides the reasons mentioned, I get weird about CosPlay.
CosPlay is a whole world of wonderful things!
If you’re a woman that thinks Hazo is the best fictional character ever? You can dress as him! And it doesn’t even need to be a Cross-Play… my friend that does Hanzo at least once a year goes FULL man, mustache and everything… you can’t tell that the person under the costume is a genetic female!
If you’re a woman that thinks Hanzo is the best fictional character ever? You can dress as him! You can totally do a creative Cross-Play where you use the source template and your own creativity to create a Fem-Hanzo!
Same goes for Dudes with Lady Characters!
Lets say you love two characters with everything in you… YOU CAN JOIN THEM TOGETHER! Do you want to see what Vegeta Homer would look like? How about Adventure Time Iron Man? You can totally do that!
AND there are legitimately “slutty” or “revealing” choices you can make. Do you want to dress like Rogue but be as sexy as possible? Savageland Rogue exists. Are you a guy that wants to show off your muscles? LOTS of options.

I just… have some kind of issue with hyper-sexualizing a character that isn’t otherwise sexualized. I acknowledge I am projecting, the honest thoughts of these women are not known to me but it just comes across to me as someone saying “Oh, I want to show off my body!”

AND HERE’S THE ANSWER TO A QUESTION I OFTEN GET ASKED: The question goes like, “Um. God, Chris. That sounds so stupid. Why would otherwise hot and attractive girls go to Geek Conventions to show off their body?” Look at how Popular Culture has classically portrayed the Geek. Hell, look at how Big Bang Theory in modernity portrayed the Geek. The Geek loves sexy women, but knows he can’t get one, but is willing to pay for the privilege. In other words… SOME Sexy Women see CosPlay as a way to “mine” male Geekdom for wealth. The equivalent of “I’d be a forgettable instagram model; but throw on white gloves and say it is cosplay and I can sell each photo for $25.”

Here’s the thing. This is something I’ve really tried not to talk about much because I know the Real Thing exists. I have friends who are, in their own right, very attractive women. Who bloody well LOVE to Cosplay. A very dear friend of mine recently lost over 78 pounds because she felt her size “restricted her from doing the kind of Cosplay she wanted to do.” And she does sexy cosplay… but it isn’t naked Cosplay (which may be my sticking point). She doesn’t “undress” the character for the photoshoots, she doesn’t “design a costume that reveals 80% more flesh”… she selects a character, makes a costume that is either (1) super faithful or (2) awesomely creative, and that is that. And some characters ARE naturally “more sexually designed” than others. So if you love Lady Death and want to do a rocking cosplay for that… go for it!

It just… yeah. It bugs me the way the Bowsette thing bugged me. It was like, “Okay. There is now easily over 3,000 different models on this page showing various stages of Undress Bowsette… and this page only has 2,000 fucking members so something is going on here!!

(By all means, let the mean/angry/judgey/hateful comments come. This isn’t a “boo jessica negri” or “boo ya ya han” thing… I like both of them well enough. This is just a ‘if you are a cosplay model whose money comes EXCLUSIVELY from ‘bedroom photo shoots’… you’re not a CosPlay Model, you’re a Sex CosPlay model. The difference quite genuinely being the difference sometimes between .......... y’know what? Never mind. I take it all back! I just did a google search for clothing models and… indistinguishable from porn in some cases. IN FACT, on the list of Famous Clothing Models in FORBES.... there WERE some former porn models. So… yeah, I’m just the crotchity old timer that thought we could have a difference between Fashion and Porn, CosPlay and SexWork… but nope. Apparently, there are no lines anymore. Just various gradients.)

(5) In anticipation for people reading that last bit (potentially) and throwing MRA shit at me again… as often happens while I try to work through my upbringing of Toxic Masculinity paired with Sexual Abstinence Purity Expectations...... here’s an article about ACTUAL MRA monsters and the douchey ass hat who leads them.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/18/style/jordan-peterson-12-rules-for-life.html?mc=aud_dev&ad-keywords=auddevgate&subid1=TAFI&fbclid=IwAR2RvtnOU_ZeP8K8xxVFzG9EOf3rhplzVa-uZlESwH6X5kEGeWbGcw1J0lM&dclid=CjgKEAiAuf7fBRDD2Oe82vaXmUUSJAABR92S67qDOuXWCmO72ZQGUGXN5IW2AXGd6Y3w_ldHE94hHvD_BwE

Seriously… if you think that Jordan Peterson is God’s Gift to Thought… piss off. The idea that Forced Monogamy should be okay? The idea that seeing women as humans is a bad thing? I admit and agree, some on the Liberal Progressive Left have lost their fucking minds. To try to force people to believe that Marriage is strictly an institution that is designed to control the sexuality of women is too far. But then… look at where some of the Incels in this article come from! Many of them are “former Theater” or came to their Incel MRA realizations after “theater.” AND WHAT DID I SAY?!

After a lifetime in theater, after 1 semester in college theater, I quit. I quit and I became a HARD RIGHT CONSERVATIVE. Why? Because College Theater is where the most far-left, progressive, angry at Status Quo, angry at God, angry at Mommy and Daddy kids go… and they have almost total control there. I am a Christian who always wanted to get married. THE ONLY theater party I went to was a theme party where every student involved with Theater eviscerated, disrespected, and angrily tore down the concept of marriage. Conversely in Law School, there were liberals and conservatives and everything in between. And while I started law school a conservative, I quickly became more and more liberal. Why? Whereas the Theater kids were about their anger, revulsion, revolution, and overturning anything they saw as “establishment”.... the Law School kids were about their intelligence, critical thinking, compassion, and overturning anything the saw as “unjust.” BIG DIFFERENCE.

Another thing to note… a thing I think is shameful and pathetic. This man in the article, this Leader of Incels used to teach at Harvard… and many of the young men (between 21 and 30) interviewed say something along the lines of “It’s things I already knew, but…” Trust me, friends, if The Future Leaders are people saying “things everyone already knew” we’re all screwed. Because everyone already knew that the earth was flat. People are trying to take us back to that thought this very day. Everyone already knew that germs don’t exist since you can’t see them. People are trying to take us back to that thought this very day. The world needs leaders who are insightful, thoughtful, and can deliver things to which people say, “That made me think. I hadn’t considered that before.” This cycle from Peterson, Trump and other “Protect the Patriarchy, White Privilege is a Lie, Women are Things” groups… that’s strictly “I already knew” or “I already believed” and… that isn’t leadership or intelligence. That is schilling. For attention, money, power… whatever is on the menu. It’s pathetic. I’m involuntarily celibate… you won’t see me perpetrating violence on someone and blaming it on “lack of willing or forced partner.” And the fact that Peterson and his followers think “forced partner” is acceptable… tell me now that there is no such thing as Rape Culture.