How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Sugar Tit's (gets a little NC-17ish towards the end) in On The Topic Of nothing:

She had been at work maybe a month, and from the moment I first met her I liked her. Every day I ask her if she wanted to do something. She’s a busy girl she doesn’t have a lot of time on her hands, but that Wednesday was different.

She told me she would be attending rocky horror that night and that I should come and meet up with her. I dawned the sexy version of my exterminator costume and went. She wasn’t there. I did my own thing. Hung out with a few friends that were there. Entered the costume contest. It was still a great time.

The next day I ran into her and I ask her “where were you last night!?” and she responded with an “Oh my god you went and you didn’t get ahold of me!?” I said, “I did… but you can make it up to me!”

A little later that day my friend called me and ask if I would meet her at a local pizza place/arcade to discuss a photo shoot. I decided to invite the girl I was talking to and another girl to go eat pizza.

She rode with me to the small pizza place. I bought her dinner which apparently caught her completely off guard. My friend walked up and dropped her baby on my lap we sit there eating our pizza as my friend looked after the other two kids in the arcade.

Our other friend showed up for about 8 minutes and took off. That left me and her to enjoy each other’s company over pudding pizza (don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. When Prometheus gave us fire he also left pudding pizza).

My friend with the children eventually left. I looked at her and said “hey, you want to play some games!?” we walked into the arcade, got 5 bucks worth of tokens a piece and I commenced to whooping her ass at dunk an ump (a game where you knocked an umpire down with a baseball). Apparently, I’ve got an arm like a machine now… who knew… although she whooped my ass at a shoot em’ up dinosaur game. She was sitting on the other side of the dinosaur game with her little business causal blue skirt and she shot me the most devilishly delightful little smile and I’m pretty sure that’s the moment that I really knew I wanted this girl in my life. We cashed in our prize tickets and we got some little cheap toys. I made sure to pick out two little friendship bracelets because why not. She put her’s on and I put mine on. Also, the guy running the ticket booth was way too into the both of us, he kept telling his ticket count (roughly 20,000) he told us he was saving up for a drone… The whole time we’re both thinking “why not go buy one…” he also told us all about the 97 ghosts that live up the road from him… Trying to be nice we played the whole “oh look at the time, we have to go” card.

We left the pizza place. I looked at her and ask her if she had a curfew she told me she didn’t. I took a little spin around the movie place to see what was on and we ended up watching the new Halloween movie. After the movie was over I looked at her and said, “you want to get your ass whopped at air hockey?” We spent the next 15 minutes in intense combat on the air hockey fields of the theater arcade. She got her ass whooped indeed!

We went and sat in the car for a little bit, again I ask her if she had to go home and she said “I can stay a little bit longer” we ended up at Wally World to buy my dad some stuff for his birthday. Got a cheap cake, some party hats, and a banner. We snuck back into work that night and hung all of it.

After that, I ended up driving her home. After she went into the house I sit there for a moment thinking about how fantastic that whole little date went.

The next morning I’m texting and calling all of my buddies up telling them about how I think I’ve met my dream girl. My closest buddy ask me
Buddy: “did you hold hands?”
Me: “no.”
Buddy: “did you make out?”
Me: “no.”
Buddy: “what did you do???”
Me: “we played games, watched a movie, and had a really fantastic night!”
Buddy: “is she into you?”
Me: “I think so, maybe.”
Buddy: “Maybe???”
Me: “well, I mean we did have a great time.”
Buddy: “man… we have a great time when we hang out… but, we’re not fucking…”
Me: “why do you think I’m hanging out with her? I mean you won’t give me the time of day…”
Both: “ha ha ha.”

After talking to my friend I got to thinking maybe she is just going to be a buddy… Already I wanted more than that from her. So then I talked to every lady friend I’ve got and the general consensus was if she hung out with me one on one she’s totally into me.

I realized they were all right. Once upon a time, I knew all the rules and what things meant but now I basically know nothing…

I ran into her later that day. She was wearing this fantastic little yellow romper. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. I ask her if she wanted to do a movie night with me and my friends. She said she would come. I was pretty excited.

once everyone had gotten to work we started celebrating my dad’s birthday. He’s the most precious little man of all time. He sorta has a Simon Birch thing going on. We passed out the party favors and took him to eat his favorite meal of all time, the KFC buffet. the manager saw it was his birthday and they brought us all a free cake out to share. I thought it was a pretty fantastic gesture from the manager.

later that night we all met up and watched Christen (great old Steven King movie about a car, check it out.) I did my cheat day thing. She brought a six pack of Budweiser that came out of the Jim Beam barrels (pretty great stuff) in my head I whispered “marry me girl!” during the movie she laid her leg up on the arm of my chair and I started rubbing her legs. At that point, I knew for a fact that it was on.

After the first movie was over she got up to do something and we put in the sixth sense (I’ve never seen it, let’s not all stone me at once). When she walked back though I looked at her and patted my lap. She sat down I rubbed her legs through the opening credits. About the first 2 seconds of the movie, I looked her in the eyes and we started making out. My odd friend that was sitting across the table was staring at us with the intensity of a raccoon looking at a garbage can. Then he said “man, why are you acting so weird (weirdly perverted giggle).” I stand up with her in my arms still making out and walk out of the room.

We’re like two sex-crazed teenagers as we get on the elevator to go to my office. She has her arms around my neck, I push her into the back wall of the elevator. I have a hand full of dark brown hair, we touch foreheads and look into each other eyes as we’re tearing each other’s clothing off. I squeeze her breasts as she’s wrapping bare legs around me. I run my hand down her body and into her panties, she let out a loud moan. A few seconds later she dropped to her knees. I looked at her in the elevator, bare, unprotected, hiding nothing. She was beautiful.
We spent what I thought was a few minutes together in my office enjoying each other’s company. We walked back downstairs to join everyone else. We had messed around the entire movie and everyone was gone.

I ask her if she would like to spend the night with me. She did. We laid there under the blankets. Her back against me, my arms holding her tight from behind. Sometimes you know when something is right.

The next morning I woke up with her still in my arms. She was still asleep. I laid there looking at her as the warm sun filled the room that morning. I couldn’t lie there as long as I wanted I had to go do some work that morning. I got up got ready and told her I’d be back soon. I gave her a kiss and out the door I went.

I met up with a friend I was doing a family photo shoot with. I couldn’t stop talking about her. My friend and his wife all about her. I finished the shoot and went back home.

I walked back in where I found her still sleeping and I laid back down with her. She awoke with a sweet little smile and all giggly. We chatted about the night before, things we liked, things we didn’t like. I ended up taking her to a birthday party later that evening to be my shooting assistant. I introduced her to one of my best friends.

Later that night we cuddled up in my big recliner for a night of movies and food. It’s like she was made to fit in that little narrow strip of big leather recliner next to me.

The next morning I drove her home, I ended up playing one of my favorite guilty pleasure songs of all time (Amos Moses – Jerry Reed) and she knew every word… I was in love… my jaw was still on the ground as she walked into her house.

As I drove home to see my granny for Sunday dinner I wondered if the weekend was actually real the whole trip.