Adopt a dog in Stuff

I was thinking yesterday that I wanted to come here and write about how happy I’ve been with the composting toilets and say that in 2019 I think we’re going to change out the last remaining water-using toilet in the house. I know there’s a fair observation to be made that this could hurt the resale value of the house, but this is really of little importance to me. I have no plans in the next ten years or more to move, so why not make this house how I want it instead of preparing it for the next owners?

But instead of writing about that (although in truth I think that above paragraph sums it up enough), I should share what happened last night while I was having dinner with Megan. She was eating cubes of steamed tofu that just looked repugnant to me and then she out of nowhere asked me how I would feel if she asked Olsen to marry her.

I didn’t say anything for a second. Then after I’d collected my thoughts, I said, “Can I speak completely freely even if it might offend you or piss you off?”

She scrunched up her face like I’d offended her already.

I started this way: “I love you, Megan. I honestly very much love you. You’re an important person to me and I already think of you as part of my family.”

I don’t know if I’ve ever used the word “love” with a friend before. That’s not to say that I’ve never or don’t currently love my friends. I do. But it’s awkward to me to say “I love you” to someone I’m not romantically involved with. I completely meant those words when I said them to Megan, but it felt weird to say it.

Nonetheless, I needed to start the conversation positively and reinforce that she’s important to me.

Then I told her that she needed to scale things back. I told her that she’s been dating Olsen for less than six months and she can’t be jumping into something like marriage with a 21 year old. I told her my feelings have absolutely nothing to do with her, and that I would say the same thing to anyone who wanted to propose at Olsen’s age after such a short time dating, male or female. I told her that they appear to be so happy together, why is there a need to change anything?

I expected a long awkward silence or even tears. Instead she responded immediately. She said she has been goal-oriented her whole live. She said in her life and in her career (in this case I think she meant as a trainer at the gym) she’s always been striving for her next goal and achievement. And as soon as she reaches one goal she immediately moves the bar up higher and works for the next goal.

She said, “Did you know I run a marathon every month?”

I shook my head. In the years that I’ve known her she’s never once mentioned a marathon.

She said that she doesn’t run formal organized marathons. But once every four weeks she runs 26 miles on her own. “Do you know why I do it?” she asked. Again I shook my head. She said, “Because running one or two a year was easy, and I needed to push myself harder than that.”

I had no idea where she was going with this. Then the tears started. She told me that she IS INDEED very happy with her relationship with Olsen, but she feels like she can’t remain static like that and always needs to be moving to the next level.

I said, “The only difference between your relationship right now and your relationship after you get married is you’ll be in a legal entanglement with each other. Find something else to be your next level.” I suggested a nice piece of jewelry, a big trip somewhere, adopting a dog, any random thing I could think of that wasn’t marriage.

She laughed and was full of smiles when she told me she would take my advice.

Then she said, “You didn’t offend me at all, and I love you too.”

She finished her tofu and we didn’t mention it again.