Pressured to have kids.. Idk what to do. in Misadventures of West Virginia Woman
- Nov. 11, 2018, 9:45 a.m.
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- Public
I am 31 years old no children. Most my friends pressure me to have kids. My biological clock screams at me. Deep down i wish i had children when i was younger but i didnt. I felt like the men i were dating wouldnt be good fathers over the years. I was afraid i couldnt afford to feed a kid after they were born.Everyone swears i will hit monopause soon. I been debating on going to doctor to test my fertility. Most women in my family dont hit menopause still the late 30s early 40s.
I was debating on buying prenatal in case a happy little accident happens with my husband. If i decide to eventually get pregnant i want to lost 50-60 pounds first. I weigh 193 pounds currently. I dont want an unhealthy pregnancy because of my weight. It is strange to admit i want to lose weight just to gain it back because pregnancy?. . i want experience being a mom. I dont want judged for trying to raise a family.
Everyone says waiting to be financially stable to have kids then kids will never happen. If i want kids get on welfare. I always felt welfare helps people from starving and help people get by till they are back on their feet. I never saw welfare as a back up plan because i want a child.
My friend tease i am the cool childless aunt to their kids. That sound cool and all but due to my sister in law Lesa and brother Tommy infertility i feel pressured to have a kid to continue the bloodline. It would be a shame the family be forgotten due to my greedy needs.
Talan tells me come to the bedroom he can put a kid in there no problem. I fear i cant handle the responsibility i fear i wont be a good mom. Stupid biological clock leaves me struggling with myself. What if i wait to long never get a child?
I guess i could adopt. I am not above adoption. Not all blood is family. Stupid biological clock messing with my brain.
Please dont be rude to me. I am seriously trying to decide whether to be childless or not.
JustSurviveSomehow ⋅ November 11, 2018
Talk to your husband and think about what it is that YOU want. Don't let your family members or friends pressure you into anything. They aren't the ones raising the child for the next 18 years. Continuing the bloodline is NOT a reason to have children, if there is no other reason that you want to have one. You have to do what is best for you and your husband.
Beret ⋅ November 11, 2018
I'm not intending on being rude in what I say, but...this is a decision you need to make and not your friends. They should have absolutely NO influence in this decision. Are they going to pay for your kids? You struggle financially all the time. You move from job to job trying to get ahead. How will kids fit in this picture? You will need childcare and there will be medical expenses and it only gets more costly as they get older. They begin to want things. They'll want to play on sports teams or join scouts or something like that. It all cost money. What about school trips and school pictures? Then they'll need orthodontia or something. It just gets more and more expensive. If I were you I'd concentrate on finding a better paying more stable job.