NoJoMo 2 in Book Five: Working Through the Maze 2018

PROMPT 1
2. You own a company that is forced to shut down and sell off a division. What division would it be, and write a memo to those employees that will be laid off.

ANSWER: A deeply multi-layered prompt. After all, (1) create a company, (2) create divisions within that company, (3) create a reason why you would need to shut down and sell of a division of that company, (4) select which division you would sell off, (5) imagine employees of that division, (6) write a memo to notify them of the impending ‘restructuring.’ A very involved prompt!

So.... step 1… what company would I have? If I had loads of money, what kind of company would I make… knowing if it were a service industry, in order to become a company it would also have to be “franchise.” Okay. Got it. Just figured it all out.

Company: The Bronze: Pop Culture Bar, Dance Hall, Concert Venue, Arcade, and Comic Book store. A building with a coffee shop/comic book store as the “front room” but through the scary looking double doors in the back… a split staircase. Downstairs an old fashioned Arcade (cabinet games, pinball games, and a few tables for Tabletop Gaming). Upstairs a concert venue/dance club with full Bar. Franchise Locations chosen specifically due to “need based demographic research” ie… located in areas where there isn’t a Dance Club or Comic Book shop for miles.

Division to Cut: Advertising Division
Reason: After a thorough investigation, the majority of traffic is brought in via Word of Mouth. The television and radio advertisements are too expensive for the minimal foot traffic. The word of mouth and “tell your friends” has worked much better to convey the complicated business we are.

*Dear Advertising Firm of Johnson, Johnson, Parker, and Loesch:

While we treasure the professional relationship we have built over this past decade, the time has come for our corporation to significantly reduce our advertising investment. We will forever appreciate the advertising assistance you gave us in our early years and know that a large part of our early foot traffic was generated by your Marketing Ideas and small town connections. As any successful business must, we have evaluated the recent foot traffic to determine how best to continue to grow and profit. This evaluation has led us to our decision to all but entirely eliminate advertising. As our business is able to fill a niche market that competes only with the internet or venues harder to reach for our customers; we will instead be investing our funds in Community Outreach Programs that will do a better job of connecting our business with the community and connecting the community with our business. We are so very happy that you have been a part of our journey this last decade and wish all of you and your families well. The initial hiring contracts allowing you discounted rates on Stock Options should the company go public will remain valid for the lifetime of this company. If we go public, as you helped us get started, we want you to be able to reap the benefits of that early work. Thank you.

PROMPT 2
Write a letter to your 14 year old self

ANSWER: Interesting that both prompts are rather Letter Focused.

Chris:

Lots of this letter won’t make a damned bit of sense because it hasn’t happened yet. Also, I’ll be using pseudonyms. Remember how growing up, you assumed that if Time Travel were possible, I’d come back from the future, take a disguise, and look after you as you grew up thereby creating an alternate reality where things were better? Or at the very least, assuring the life patterns that would then result in your growing up to be a version of you that works with Time Travel and travels back to the past to protect little you ala Inevitability Theory of Time Travel? Well… good news and bad news on those fronts, chap.

What year is it now for you? I imagine either 1998 or 1999. The internet is a bit new for you, largely pornography, movies, and star wars with a little gaming for PC but not online. In the year 2000, an internet thread is created by someone claiming to be John Titor. Remember that name. He claims to be a soldier from 2036 traveling back to 1975 for an IBM5100 model computer. I won’t go into everything. As of the year 2018 most people believe it to be a hoax anyway. However, it does inspire creative minds to write stories explaining John Titor. Perhaps the greatest story of that type is created in 2011. It is a video game then Anime Series. You’re not into Anime right now, that’s okay. If you never get into Anime… do us both a favor and make sure to WATCH STEIN’S GATE. It is important. D-Mail, D-Slides and the idea that Time Travel needn’t be corporeal shifting of physical space from one temporal location to another is surprisingly revolutionary. This story puts forward the idea of Consciousness Shifts. In some ways similar to The Butterfly Effect… a movie that comes out in 2004. We see it, we like it better than most, but hand-to-God some of the worst understanding of Time Travel, Continuity, and 4th Dimensional Corporeal Reality. PROBABLY worth skipping unless you have a date. Anyway, this is the good news. You will live long enough to enjoy an AMAZING THEORY OF TIME TRAVEL that reinvigorates your love of time travel!!

The bad news? Time travel doesn’t work like that. I can’t put on a helmet and beam my memories and experience back in time for you to receive and use to create a separate world line. If “world line” threw you there, skip it. It’ll make sense after 2011. As unfortunate as that reality is, I have figured out how to get you this letter. I won’t argue with you or make any impassioned pleas for you to change everything in your life. I’ll tell you where I wound up and suggest in a code you’ll have to decipher what things I would have avoided if I did it over again. Good? It’ll have to be.

ME: I’m writing to you from 2018. Things here are… rough. Not just for us, the world at large. The rise of Ultra Conservative Politics has spread throughout the world leading to near-fascist leaders. The United States is being run poorly by an amoral unethical gigantic asshat that nobody took seriously as a candidate because we genuinely believed “You can’t do that and be elected President!” We were wrong. There’s nothing you can do about that right now. When the time came, I fought. I did the right thing. I tried. That’s all we can ever do and since we already did it… I know you’ll do it, too. The painful truth is… while you still NEED to fight and be yourself… it won’t matter, Asshat still gets elected. So I need you to throw away those lofty notions that we became something amazing that changed the world. There’s no shame in acting local. Speaking of which, we’re not a professional actor. We are an Assistant County Attorney in a relatively small county in Iowa, married, and having just bought our first house. No kids yet. That is where we end up if nothing changes in your life after reading this letter. If that sounds awesome to you, then stop reading this letter. If any of that sounds like something you would want to change, keep reading.

If school has already started for you, you are aware that we have a bit of a rough Freshman year. The good news is: You have the ability to be an amazing Butterfly Swimmer and you can still do a great job in Theater on top of it. But I need you to focus more on school work and less on girls. JUST FOR THIS YEAR, buddy. I’ll let you know when and who and I won’t be ambiguous, since it matters, but think in longer terms. Foundation first, then the house. Get good at swimming. Get really good. Take care of your body. Volunteer for the theater stuff. Bryant is an active member, see if she’ll help. Heck, Fackrel is an active member, talk to her, too! Fill the in between times with homework. If you’re having trouble, talk to a teacher. Yeah, they are busy… and some of them might be assholes. But if you need to fight for your education, you owe it to yourself to FIGHT FOR YOUR EDUCATION.

Now, as promised, when you start Sophomore Year of High School… ingratiate yourself during study hall with Jessi and Tiffany. Sit at their table, be funny and charming, and definitely do your own work! I don’t care if biology sucks, this is a way you can connect to your father. Do your own work. I want you to slowly, slowly start to get closer and closer with Tiffany over that semester. DON’T RUSH THINGS. But on the morning of December 17th, you need to ask her out. If she says no… don’t make it a big thing. If she says yes, awesome. She’s supposed to say yes, but as you know… interfering with time may alter time… a bit of an amalgamation from The Observer Effect in Physics. Here’s the big issue, though, buddy. This is your first relationship. It is going to end. And I already imagine you nodding your head thinking “no doi, future dumbass.” But this is serious. It is not just that everything will end. Things tend to end at the worst possible time. You’ll lose your girlfriend, your friends turn to drugs and alcohol, people die… this is going to be hard to remember because it is hard to believe and I’m the one writing it… IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Okay?? I want you to bring this letter out when these things happen because you NEED to know IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Cry, gnash your teeth, wail into the night… but IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!

Here’s another really upsetting pill to swallow: If you don’t make Mimes your sophomore year… and you may well not… DON’T try for a second. I know. I was surprised, too. Somehow, the Mime Babies the year you made it poisoned the experience for you. Estrogen Gang Mentality and the year you make it… you’re the only boy that makes it. It doesn’t go well. SO… if you don’t make it on the first attempt? Dust your hands off and dedicate yourself to Cello and Swimming. I’m serious. Both of those things deserve your dedication. Besides, the summer after your Sophomore year… you get to travel Europe with your cello! Don’t you want to be good?! Don’t you want to be fantastic?! Oh, speaking of that trip… I need you to forget about Sarah. You have no idea who I’m talking about right now, that’s okay. But stop clinging to crushes like you owe them something. You owe them nothing. Look for “Buffy”… yes that is a pseudonym. The only one you’ll need to find her. She is an amazing girl. Be her friend. Do whatever you want, obviously, but do what you can to keep her in your life.

I won’t tell you anything more about Europe or your Junior Year. I’ll just say… focus on School Work, Swimming, Cello, and Acting. They’ll serve you well. But the summer between Junior and Senior Year? I need to be VERY explicit with you. Deadly, painfully direct. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ARE YOU TO ENGAGE IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH ANYONE NAMED CAITLIN. There is no threat to follow that sentence because no threat would be as terrible as what will happen to you if you ignore my advice!! Focus on making the movie (yeah, if you don’t fuck up, you get to be in a movie!) and making money. Save that money, btw. Or better yet, invest it. May I recommend Apple, Microsoft, Texas Instruments, and Pfizer? When you start school, the change in Drama Teacher will be seismic. Everybody gets emotionally involved, nothing good happens. I’ll leave it to you on what to decide. You can either go forward with Drama there or skip it… I won’t blame you either way. But other people will. So know that as you make your choice. As to dating… I’ll recommend The Violin Section. Keep it in The Violin Section. That is both code and not code because I mean literally “the violin section of the orchestra” but I also want you to know I’m not suggesting you date THE ENTIRE violin section, okay?

High School was tough and I won’t go much beyond that. It is already a lot to take in. But I’ll close with this suggestion for college:
If you go to UNI, see about getting a solo room in Campbell. Make friends with an RA named Nick. Invite people over for Video Game and Movie nights (Tip: Rig your room up with an awesome tv/stereo set up). But still remember… grades count. So do your reading, do your homework, and be open to different academic experiences.

You’ll do fine out there. Just… you’ve got to learn how to prioritize differently. Finding a wife shouldn’t be such an important hunt. You’ll miss everything else going on around you that way.

With Love,
John Titor ;)