Struggling For Words in Book Five: Working Through the Maze 2018

  • Oct. 22, 2018, 10:02 p.m.
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So… it is the night. It is right before bed.

And what consumes my mind is the hypothetical… the possible… the “perhaps.”

I know for certain my car is totaled. AND so I consider.... could I have them fix it, or will I be forced to buy a new one?

I know for certain that I am excited to move in to my new home. BUT I worry… will I be able to succeed at my job long enough to make it worthwhile?

I know for certain that I would like to lose weight… but will it ever be enough for me? Will it ever be enough for wife?

I know for certain I want to spend hours appreciating, worshiping, lavishing Wife’s body.... but I know it will never happen.

The problem with a mind that is always working through whatever enigmas it can conceive of is that working through an enigma is never truly an “answer.” Enigmas by their very nature are unpredictable mysterious occurrences. Plan though I might… I could be entirely wrong.

I started this PB under the name Edward Nashton. It still holds sway. Edward Nasthon is The Riddler’s birthname. and much like Edward.... I hate Question Marks unless I am placing them. I need to be the smartest in the room, the cleverest in the community. And while that may be true… seriously… it is at least possible that I am the cleverest in my community.... it isn’t enough. Because there are too many question marks.

Or as Gandalf once said:
Questions.... questions that need answering.


Perpetually Plump October 23, 2018

You waste a lot of time, energy, and emotions on made up scenarios, dude. Imagine if you redirected thst energy to healthy places.
You do not want to fix a car that has structural damage. You will have problems with it for ever and ever.

Deleted user October 23, 2018

Aw man, I'm so sorry about the car. :( But at the same time, at least you walked away unharmed, so... You: win; deer: loses.

But! I also understand having millions of questions, especially at night. My mind goes rather wonky at night sometimes!

four leaf clover October 24, 2018

My mind goes bonkers at night ugh so I get it

Always Laughing October 27, 2018

My mind does this to me all the time i hate it.

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