So, I made my significant other fill in a mad lib type sheet that creates a short story based on the words you choose. It was so flat-out brilliant that I had to post it somewhere. For the record, he did not choose the word banana, but seeing as the word dildo was missing, we think it censored it to that. IMO, it made it so much better.
Without further ado, I present to you:
The Overcast Day that Teased like Pooping Zebras
Dan Torrance looked at the frail banana in his hands and felt bored.
He walked over to the window and reflected on his bright surroundings. He had always loved meh-like Euphoria with its fat, fresh flowers. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel bored.
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Beth Donaldson. Beth was a greedy straight-edged razor with short toes and flat pinkies.
Dan gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a boring, lazy, Sprite drinker with sharp toes and broad pinkies. His friends saw him as a loud, lonely lamp. Once, he had even brought an exuberant cancer patient back from the brink of death.
But not even a boring person who had once brought an exuberant cancer patient back from the brink of death, was prepared for what Beth had in store today.
The overcast teased like pooping zebras, making Dan ecstatic.
As Dan stepped outside and Beth came closer, he could see the sticky glint in her eye.
“I am here because I want debts paid,” Beth bellowed, in a food motivated tone. She slammed her fist against Dan’s chest, with the force of 7913 turkeys. “I frigging love you, Dan Torrance.”
Dan looked back, even more ecstatic and still fingering the frail banana. “Beth, you’re a dick,” he replied.
They looked at each other with upset feelings, like two lonely, little leopard geckos flipping at a very bubbly laser tag birthday party, which had African Tribal music music playing in the background and two cocky uncles walking to the beat.
Suddenly, Beth lunged forward and tried to punch Dan in the face. Quickly, Dan grabbed the frail banana and brought it down on Beth’s skull.
Beth’s short toes trembled and her flat pinkies wobbled. She looked livid, her body raw like a tight, thundering trashcan.
Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Beth Donaldson was dead.
Dan Torrance went back inside and made himself a nice drink of Sprite.
If that didn’t have you hooked from the opening line alone, you’re just not… human. If anyone wants to give this thing a whirl, here’s the page: