Knucklehead students/Romantic Getaway in New Beginnings

The semester is half-way over. I must say, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed this position. It’s almost surreal. “So this is what it’s like to have a job you enjoy,” I think to myself almost every day. I never feel lost. I always have an idea of what I should be doing. I’m able to field questions. I make my presentations. I go over the workbook problems. Everything has been wonderful.

All that said, I have a few students who just don’t want to do the work, which is somewhat frustrating. First of all, one of the classes I teach this semester is Principles of Accounting II. The teacher who taught these students in Principles of Accounting I wasn’t very diligent in assigning homework, and his tests were basically carbon copies of what little homework he did assign. Not to mention that his final exam was just repeat of his previous tests. The end result is that a lot of students passed his class without actually learning the material. I’m teaching them now, and they don’t have the foundation they should. That fact makes this class especially challenging because Accounting II builds upon the concepts learned in Accounting I. I started the class with 11 students, but not even half of them attend each class. Among the 3 or so students who show up semi-regularly is a young man named Cordero.

Cordero approached me after the first day of class, explaining that he didn’t do very well in the previous class (he transferred from another school), but he really wants to get an A in this one. I told him what I discussed in my introduction. He needs to get his textbook, he needs to set up his online account for his homework assignments, and he needs to start reading the material. Two weeks later, he asks me right before class to help set up his online account. A couple of days later on the day the homework is due, he comes to my office to ask for help with the very first problem of the homework. The first test comes, and he leaves most of it blank, giving up on the problem portion of the exam and only answering the multiple choice section, most of which he missed. After a 10 point curve, he had a little over a 40. Never mind that he hardly did any of the homework, so his overall average is atrocious. After that, he only came to class about half the time. One time, he stayed for about 20 minutes, before he just stood up and left. His phone didn’t ring or buzz; he simply stood up and left as if he was bored.

A couple of weeks ago, he delayed the class lecture by asking me to explain material I had covered in previous classes, which he didn’t attend. After all that, he had the brass stones to ask if I would make a practice test or start giving quizzes in class. I thought to myself, “Really?!?! You don’t come to class, you don’t read the book, you don’t do the homework, and you don’t even memorize the flashcards that I am making for you, yet you want me to spend a day making a practice exam when you’re not doing any of the work you should have been doing so far.”

I saw right through his Jedi mind trick. He thinks that if I make a practice exam, he can take it home, memorize how to solve those problems, then be able to answer the problems on the test. I gave a formal, diplomatic response in the following class.

“This class is kind of like a sport. When you sign up for a sport, be it football, baseball, basketball, or whatever, the coach doesn’t just have you play a game. Instead the coach makes you come to practice, has you run drills, and possibly puts you on an exercise regimen. Once he’s seen you make sufficient progress in those things, then you have your game or a practice game.

The exams are like our games. The textbook, the homework problems, & the workbook problems are like our practices and our workout routine. The exam won’t actually teach you anything, it tests how diligently you’ve been with your “practices” and “exercise regimen.” You have to read the material before coming to class. You have to do the homework. You have to be able to do the homework without relying on your notes or textbook. You have to come to class regularly, not just half or a quarter of the time. If you’re not doing those basic requirements on your own, you’re not ready for a test, practice or otherwise.

Furthermore, my concern about giving a practice test is it’ll give you a false sense of confidence. When I was in undergrad, I had a teacher tell me of one of his other students, who failed the first test. She couldn’t believe it. ‘How could I fail,’ she asked him in his office, ‘when I did the homework problems 10 times?’ ‘Great,’ he responded, ‘if only I gave you those exact problems, you would have aced it.’ She had memorized how to solve very specific test questions. She didn’t learn the underlying principles. As soon as my teacher changed the wording of the questions or asked for something different, she couldn’t respond. That’s what’ll happen if I give you all a practice test at this point. I know that for a fact because that’s kind of what happened with your previous teacher, and consequently, you don’t have the foundation you should have. Remember, our next exam is right after the drop date. If I give you a false sense of confidence, and you decide to remain in this class, if you fail that next test, you’ll likely be stuck with a failing grade. Withdrawing won’t be an option at that point.”

I stopped there. I didn’t get into the requests for quizzes. Here’s the issue. I spend about two classes on each chapter. The first class is a lecture over the class material, and the second class is the application of that material by doing workbook or textbook problems. In my other classes, I like to work a sample problem in front of the class, then have them try a problem independently. In this particular class, whenever I ask if they’re ready to try the a problem on their own or work it as a group (translation: have me do it in front of them), Cordero always asks to do it as a group. The only difference between a quiz and how we do workbook problems now is that I give you a lot of assistance. With a quiz, you have to be able to do them entirely on your own. If you’re not willing to do these problems on your own, a quiz isn’t going to help you.

I was talking to the entire class, but I was really only speaking to Cordero. It’s like he thinks his not learning is indicative of something I’m doing wrong. He doesn’t know what, but it can’t be his fault, so by process of elimination the problem must be something I’m doing or not doing. If I’ll just do something, anything, differently, then he’ll magically be able to learn the material.

I’m reminded of someone’s mom I kind of knew growing up. She should have been in really good shape because she had a closet full of exercise equipment. She’d see an infomercial about some gimmicky piece of fitness equipment, buy it thinking it would make working out effortless and fun, instantly grow bored of it, then throw it in the closet and start looking for another exercise device that would resolve her lack of motivation. She purchased one particular item that was basically a very slick and long mat. The user would wear these special socks that reduced the friction even further, then he or she could push off one end of the mat, side to the other end, the push off hat to slide back to the starting point.” In that sense, it was almost like a treadmill that mimicked ice skating, which was actually a pretty clever device now that I think of it. This woman purchased it, tried it once, fell flat on her butt, then stuck it in her closet to gather dust. She had everything she needed to get in shape; she just needed to commit to using the resources at her disposal. I think the same is true of Cordero, if he would just commit to using the tools he has available to him, he wouldn’t be struggling with the material.

I had another student test my patience on Friday. He came to my office asking what he needed to make on his future assignments to pass the class. He made a 60 something on the first exam, and he did none of the homework. I mean absolutely none of it! I did the math and explained to him that if he did all of the homework starting now, and makes a 68 on each of the future tests and the final exam, he would get a 69.5, which I would round up to a 70. He looked at the spreadsheet somewhat dejectedly and asked, “I guess I’d feel better if I had a better grade going into the next exam; could I go back and turn in the old homework assignments?” Once again I thought, “Seriously? You’ve put forth absolutely zero effort into my class so far, and you want me to break the classroom policy because you chose to be lazy?!” I’m getting really good at holding my tongue. Instead I explained to him it wouldn’t be fair to grant him that concession without doing so for the other students who didn’t meet those deadlines. Furthermore, making that accommodation for everyone else wouldn’t be fair to the students who turned their work in on time. It’s not fair for them to stay up late or spend a Saturday doing the homework, and then let those who weren’t as disciplined turn theirs in late just because. It’s also not fair to him. He’s in this predicament because he succumbed to neglectful study habits despite my admonishments. He needs to feel this discomfort now so he’s motivated to not make the same mistake next semester.

I am being so adult and authoritative. I am so proud of myself.

In other news, I had my romantic getaway with Erica last weekend. We rented an Airbnb just outside of Nashville. We both arrived Friday night, and everything was just as comfortable and easy as when we talked on the phone all those times. Saturday, she sent me a text asking for morning hugs, which happily obliged. We then spent the entire day cuddling in bed. I gave her scalp, face, neck, back, and foot massages repeatedly until she couldn’t stand it anymore and had to be held. It was sublime. She is coming to DC this Thanksgiving to meet my siblings, and I’m coming to St. Louis to meet her family and spend Christmas and New Year’s Day with her. I don’t know what’s going to become of this relationship. I’ve told her up front that I love where I live, and most importantly, I love my job. I won’t ever be able to quit this position and relocate for her unless I secure a similar position there, and I’ll likely be here for at least a couple of years before that’s even an possibility. She’s understanding, and we’ve agreed that such an arrangement is fine for the time being. All that said, my goodness she is fun to hold. We’ve also agreed that if we ever end up married, we may have trouble getting out of the bedroom every morning.

Last updated October 15, 2018