08.06.2018 in Journal

Dear Mom,
I’m sorry you’re miserable.
I’m sorry about your regrets.
I’m sorry that you’re lost.
I should have been your candle,
But I was never feeling too bright myself.
I blamed you for feelings that you wish you didn’t have.
Your darkness consumes your light.
Then it consumes our lights..
Now we’re all lost.
We’re all miserable.
We don’t know how to take care of you,
So we take our words
And load them into the chamber of our miserable selves,
Our regretful selves,
Our lost selves,
And point them at your heart,
And hope that it’ll kill the monster inside,
As if that’ll make the darkness go away.
But darkness absorbs darkness,
And it’s growing,
And your heart is bleeding,
And it might not ever be better.
I’m sorry for feeding the monster.
I’m sorry you’re miserable.
Please, please find your way.
Don’t die lost.