Dec. in The Wonderland Years: 2013

**'4th

soulfully inclined/mockingbird woman/what would you do/'no one here is bothered by you ok?**

So I was watching 'what would you do?' last night - it's a god show I like it it's interesting. um. So they're in a barbershop and the um. black hairdresser lady was surprised that her black customer had a white girlfriend and also rather put out by this. She let this be known. The girlfriend Kristin went to sit w/ some black ladies one of which told her 'no one here is bothered by you ok?'. and I just thought that was so sweet. Then this other lady a lesbian she was a diversity teacher or speaker or something like that...well I don't remember what she said but she talked to the hairdresser lady and the way her words came across was so beautiful yeah so this reminded me of Mockingbird Woman. She was this beautiful, hurt woman I talked to downtown a few yrs. ago. She'd experienced domestic abuse. Everyone else was just walking by ignoring her. and I couldn't not. talk to her. esp. having experienced abuse myself. My heart just went out to her. Ya know? [oh. yeah. she was holding a paper that said 'domestic abuse' and 'please help' and some other things]. I gave her money for the greyhound and, as said, talked to her. I've not seen her since but she's one of those who's made a huge impact on me. I hope she's doing ok. Ya know. You can shoot all the blue jays you want but it's a sin to kill a mockingbird. yeah and yet so many........experience that, in a way. it's so sad.

And that. brings to mind another story. When I was at my mom's lesbian got talent show -no she's not a lesbian. you wouldn't think so being that she's married to my dad. and actually that's not always true since Cole Porter was gay and he was married to Linda Lee, so. and not that it matters um. - there was this amazing guitarist. her soul just spoke to me. She was so soulful. and so I'm like I have to talk to her. I know not everyone's that connected but I know we've all felt compulsion, so. So at intermission I went and talked to her. not only was she very talented but she was really cool too. I've always been soulfully inclined. that's why it's one of my emails. [yeah I have like 5]. I've not known many people who are. I mean I know they're out there. I've met 2 others over the past year.'

**'10th

Frozen. the movie i mean. not actually being so.**

Yeah so my sister and I saw Frozen yesterday. That movie makes you cold just like Fargo. It was really good. um. The characters the music the animation. I'd see it again since it was that good. The whole thing was just very good. It was one of the best movies I've seen since Gatsby. the other was The Butler. It was profound. Everyone should see it.

Frozen was like a fairy tale. well it was based on one so. I love fairy tales. as does my sister. and my maternal grandmother. My dad says they tell us a lot about ourselves. That's actually what I'm getting my sister for Xmas, is a book of fairy tales. It should be a b'way show. The actors were good too. I love Idina Menzel's voice. apparently. she's really talented. [well one would hope I mean she was on b'way. apparently Kristen Bell was too]. The movie was funny too. It had a reindeer who thought he was a dog and a very excitable snowman. It reminded me of 'the little mermaid' and 'beauty & the beast'. It was about sisters. The twist at the end was good my sister said that was the best part. It was sad too cause the one sister the blonde had to hide who she was. and so it reminded me of La Cage. There's this great song that Idina sings her only solo in the movie and it's like hey this is who I am. and I'm not apologising. [well all the music in the movie's good]. at the end of the first act of La Cage the person sings 'I am who I am'. and at the end of the first act of Wicked Elphaba sings 'defying gravity' same thing. I loved La Cage and have seen Wicked twice though neither w/ Idina but one w/ Chenowith. since I've seen it twice it's become boring. I read the book which was boring. a movie's great when I'm still thinking about it the next day. which this was.

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**'21st

burgers, gifts, cards, dogs, loving**

yeah so on Thurs. my sister, mom and I all went to the smoky burger place on Colorado [which I realise means nothing if you're not in Denver. it's a new burger place]. after my dentist appt. I liked it it's really. narrow. on the half upper wall there's a b&w of the Denver skyline. I had fries and raspberry tea, Kate [my sister] had a burger and soda and Mom had a burger and water. of course. my mom drinks more water than anyone I know. oh during lunch my mom was sitting facing the sun and so her sunglasses were on and she tells my sister "I can't hear you I have my sunglasses on". or "don't look at me in that tone of voice". [Dorothy parker]. right and what tone of voice should I look at you in? lol. god I love fries. We all forgot I was meeting w/ Jessica [my mentor] who called each of us. we went back to my mom's where Jessica gave us a container of cookies. she makes really good cookies. and I gave her all the gifts I had for her. [airborne, emergen c, tea, a cd, a dr. seuss book]. she liked all of them. oh and I gave her a card my sister and I'd written in. Then she - Jessica I mean - and I went to Bob's. Muriel and Cathy were there. I haven't seen them since. Pat's service back in March. [oh pat was my best friend who passed in March]. I gave them all a card and Muriel and Cathy hugs. it was good to see them always is. They met Jessica and they all seem cool w/ each other. While we were standing in their living room I'm thinking 'wow. I really miss him right now'. I started to tear up. [oh 'him' being Pat]. I really like being at their place. it's really warm and inviting. as is Muriel. I have nothing bad to say about them. yeah so then Jessica and I went to the King's by my place where she bought a card for her brother.

So evidently between like. 9 p.m. Thurs. and 2 p.m. Fri. [oh wait that was yesterday] Stevie [my mom's dog] managed to eat all the cookies Jessica had baked. when my dad calls yesterday and tells me this he refers to her as 'Jennifer'. um. no. and I was all afraid after that Stevie wouldn't be w/ us anymore. [ok I obviously know next to nothing about dog/pet health having thought that] but he went to the vet where he uh. got sick which was the best thing they could've done for him just like w/ people although it sucks when it's happening. So he's ok now.

Oh. so on Thurs. he wanted to 'help' me unwrap the gifts Jessica had given me and so he's holding the gift bag w/ the whole foods gift card in it in his mouth. [not like he'd hold it in his hands he's not that intelligent. or talented but wow what a trick that'd be. er, 'hands'.......paws] I get it away from him and I'm like 'here you go you get a kiss'. on his head. and they all quite liked that. yes. I can be *very loving at times. I remember in boarding school at a school dance 'santa' was giving us presents and I was the only one who hugged him.

oh so earlier [since nothing ever happens now] today in the kitchen Stevie got stuck by my mom's wooden turntable thingy. he was ok just prolly v. confused. and the other day on a walk he got his head stuck in 2 twigs. again he was ok. he got himself unstuck both times. yay! good job. I get confused too sometimes.

I like him better now he's mellow and quieter. except that he's, you know. old. [well we've had him for 11 yrs., so]. he's so pretty. we're not sure what kindof dog he is but he looks like a rotweiler. we think he has collie in him since he has that kind of fur. he has a lot of fur. I think that's what makes up most of his um. him. er I mean his mass his like..........his......I don't know. his physical dog-ness? I guess. he's like a lion dog he has so much fur. lol. he's long haired. and a herding dog. when he was younger he had a lot of energy and wasn't meant for a city.

[my mom had a collie. her name's billie. the dog I mean not my mom my mom's susan. she loved that dog].

**'21st

weird week [as much as i don't like alliteration]**

yeah so as put. it's been a weird week. interesting. um today I. went to library's holiday get together. it was boring. a little kid showed me how to make a pin and then gave it to me since his nice mother told him to. I think she was Mexican. er hispanic I mean. so I had some pineapple, grapes and 2 mini cupcakes. part of the symphony played xmas music. I went to safeway where I had trouble. I tried to purchase bottled tea that was 10 for 10 but it rang up as 10 for 1. I talked to the clerk lady about this and she told me they don't sell them 'single-ly'. erm. what? that's. not a word. at the mall I had pinkberry samples. pinkberry is nummy. strawberry banana which I didn't like and hawaii which I liked. came back to my mom's where my sister was making holiday dinner for tomorrow. some of our relatives are coming over for lunch. she was making it when I left too.

yesterday i: went to starbucks then somewhere else. went to the mall breakfast place

Thurs. I: as put, went to the store w/ my mom and my sister then the dentist. then lunch then Jessica and I went to Bob's, the store and she met my friend Mark. they seem cool w/ each other.

Tues. I: went to Target, DSW and lunch w/ my sister and Mon. I: went to lunch w/ my mom. and I think we went to the store too. **____________________________________________________________________________

**'28th

more on my weird week. dec. 16th - 21st**

This past week was odd too what w/ the holidays and all. [btw if anyone's left notes on my recent entries they've not shown on the pages, so].

I want to get caught up before the new yr. [actually my year has always been the school/tv yr from sept. - may even though I've not been in school in. yrs. I like tv. a lot. a lot a lot. um].

oh. but the week I'm referring to is dec. 16th - dec. 21st. so here's what I remember of it. Well actually this is about Tues. of that week since I've apparently already written about Thurs. - in the entry entitled 'burgers, gifts, cards, dogs, loving' - and nothing of note happened the other days.

yeah so Tues. the 17th I went to Target, DSW and lunch w/ my sister. We were looking for socks for my mom's Xmas gift at Target but found some at DSW black watch plaid. um then we went to qdoba for lunch. it was my 1st time there I liked it it was good. um. my sister got a big burrito and I got a big quesadilla. they had a tv on. in there. Kate [again. my, sister] and I talked about movies. She said the wizard Aladdin scared her [when she was little] and I'm really tired so I'm thinking disbelievingly 'the wizard. from. Aladdin'. right ok then. I start cracking up being as knackered as I am. she explains she means Jafar and realises she thinks I meant the genie. no he's not scary. she likes the movie Mrs. Doubtfire. yeah I do too. and Aladdin. oh well I guess that's it.'