Liking Meds. in Glowing world

I’d say that they’re working. The meds, I mean. I’m not yelling at my brain anymore. It’s quiet.

I have so much more time now. Picking out clothes isn’t a struggle. Making three phone calls in a row and documenting them perfectly is no big deal. Merging is easier.

I have more energy. It’s Sunday, and I’m not exhausted. I appreciate things like the sunshine, flowers, how pretty my bras are. I don’t feel like I need my coffee in the morning, I just like it. I’m not clinging to rituals like my cup of Cinnamon Tea at work to get through the day, or the Diet Dr. Pepper. It just isn’t as big of a deal.

I cleaned my room, got laundry ready, organized my closet, washed dishes, and took out the trash. I went for a run this week.

I’m not as aching for approval of everyone. I still like it, but I don’t need a constant drip of it to get through the day. I still love Kenny and Brent’s attention, but it isn’t as dire of a situation.

I guess the only thing I really need to figure out is how to come without holding my breath. It’s a real issue, because I’m coming so hard and so long that it’s actually causing teeny tiny bruises around my eyes called petechiae. They are more common in strangulation victims or people who do auto-erotic asphyxiation. I mean, I guess that’s what I’m doing. I just don’t use a scarf or anything. I just hold my breath without really noticing. It’s entirely possible that I came so hard last night that I passed out. Kenny just told me that he doesn’t think I did. He said I was active the whole time. Heh.

Kenny has started Prozac. He was hoping to get Wellbutrin like me, just because I like it so much so far. But, our symptoms were actually different, so it makes sense that we’d need different meds. He has more energy, talks more, and smiles more. It’s really really cute. I knew it was working when 40 minutes after the first pill, he looked at his nails, said they were getting longer, and immediately clipped them. Then he said, “Baby, I love you, but your nail clippers suck.” Before that, he would have just looked at his nails, and done nothing.

I started August 16th. I won’t know the full effect for another 5-7 weeks. So far though, things are looking way, way way up.