30 Second Retort in Book Five: Working Through the Maze 2018

I have been involved in Criminal Law for the last 8 years. Not a long time, but certainly more time spent with inmates, criminals, judges, and attorneys than most.

This week, Trump has said two things that convince me (convince me) that either he IS guilty or that he believes himself to be guilty. An important distinction… just because you THINK you’re guilty of a crime doesn’t mean you ARE guilty of a crime.

(1) August 21:
In an interview with Reuters, Trump agreed with his attorneys that he feared a “perjury trap.” “So if I say something and he (Comey) says something, and it’s my word against his, and he’s best friends with Mueller, so Mueller might say: ‘Well, I believe Comey,’ and even if I’m telling the truth, that makes me a liar. That’s no good.”

My first job in Criminal Law was working with inmates to help craft Pro Se (meaning “Representing Oneself”) cases. I can’t TELL you how many times I would hear one of them say, “And that judge is gonna believe the cop cuz they’re just best fucking friends.” OR “I don’t take no Public Pretender. They’re best friends with the prosecution and my ass goes to jail.” OR “Man, that prosecutor is just best friends with those pigs. Cop could say straight up he’s lying, that prosecutor still gonna fry my ass.”

When I became an Intern/Extern at a Prosecutors Office (while friends went to work at the Public Defenders Office)… we all compared notes about how many times a defendant who was caught dead to rights would say “best friend” language. Here’s the REALLY funny thing… I would fight like a dog with an attorney on the other side, really serious “For Justice” vs “For My Client” shit… and then we’d go play DnD during the weekend. But Defendants, particularly Guilty Defendants, love bitching that Law Enforcement and Prosecutors are best friends.

I heard it as a Prosecutor, as a Criminal Defense Attorney, and I’m hearing it again as a prosecutor. The “best friends” language significantly indicates to me that Trump is either guilty or believes himself to be guilty.

(2) August 23:
The President gave an interview to Fox News today in what could effectively be characterized as another of his on camera tantrums. In that interview, the President suggested that “flipping” the process whereby prosecutors promise a suspect a short sentence in exchange for co-operation - was “not fair” and something that “almost ought to be outlawed.”

This is another KEY statement that shows that Trump is either guilty or thinks he is.

One of the rules Criminal Lawyers get trained right off the bat is “Criminals don’t hang out with Saints.” This phrase, oft repeated, is to alert Criminal Lawyers (Prosecution and Defense) that in most cases… witnesses will have credibility issues largely stemming from Criminal Records, open criminal charges, or the fact that they are a co-defendant. That is the nature of crime. Grannie Margaret who bakes cookies for the Church potluck isn’t the one at the Meth House when Sindee stabs JoJo. The witness is going to be Keith-o who wasn’t high that night since he was the one selling the Meth not taking the Meth.

Logic dictates we cut Keith-o a deal on Meth Dealing so we can use his testimony against Sindee. AND this is a smart move because Keith-o isn’t going to suddenly stop selling Meth after the trial is over… so we’ll have further opportunities to arrest and prosecute him for that later.

In other words… you either have to be guilty or a complete idiot to suggest that “flipping” ‘almost ought to be outlawed.’ Because if you know anything about getting convictions? You know we need flipping.

And, after that sentence today, any Trump supporter who calls him a “Law and Order candidate” can suck my extended hizgortenock. Whether this statement means he’s guilty or innocent; it demonstrates his COMPLETE and utter lack of knowledge for how the Criminal Justice System works. As to guilt or innocence?

You don’t bitch about rats if you’re clean.