still in the sand in 2018

8:47pm

Another Tuesday down.

We went to tacos to celebrate my mom’s other birthday. I sent a text to my aunt earlier in the day to see if she’d pick up some flowers since I’d be with mom and wouldn’t have a chance. At the end of dinner they all came out and sang to her, put a big ol’ hat on her head, and brought the flowers. It was really sweet and cute. She definitely looked surprised. And I covered dinner of course so that’s about the best I can do without going out shopping. She’ll never say what she wants anyway.

Before we got to the food we went to the stores and picked up some stuff for the rooms. She got a big mirror and a rug for her sewing machine. We’re moving that into the guest/office room we just finished since we got rid of the couch. We’ll probably move a futon type bed in there after we find one we like. In case we have too many visitors one day. Moving the sewing machine will leave more space in the other official guest room so that’ll be cool.

I also got a little rack I can hang on my door for hats. I’m definitely trying to keep as many things as possible off the floor. I want this “new” room to be super low maintenance. We all know I’m way too lazy to keep up with chores like dusting! I’ll start the search for a curio type cabinet soon so that I can put all my knick-knacks in an enclosed case. That’ll definitely cut down on the dust and around here if you open the window for a couple hours in the evening everything is already covered in dirt. Yay for living amongst the fields! =\

There is still a lot to go through. I’m trying to do all the easy stuff first. Like I’ve cleaned and put back most of the drawers to the dresser but they’re empty for now. The stuff that I know will take me the longest is being put off until I have the emotional capacity to deal with it. AKA an entire day to myself to sit on the floor and sort, sort, sort. That stuff mostly consists of clothes and papers from school. I think the clothes will be easier now because I’m feeling really unattached to that kind of stuff right now. I know the hard part is definitely going to be the school stuff. Part of me wants to keep everything I’ve ever written, because it was really good and I’m proud of so much of it, but I also know that that doesn’t make sense. What am I really going to do with a bunch of paperwork 10 years from now? Or with it in general - like sit down every few years, pull it out, and read over it all. Who the heck am I ever going to show it to? I need to keep that all in mind while I sort because it’s the only thing that makes sense. When it comes down to it, I could always digitize it and save it electronically right? I hadn’t thought of that before!! Sweet. See how typing these things out can help? Yay. I feel better already. haha. That’s the new plan, I think!

Little by little. One box, or bag, at a time. I know I have to take it easy so I don’t get crazy overwhelmed with anxiety and I think I’m doing alright so far. I joked with the client that no one’s found me crying buried in a pile of my stuff yet so we’re all good. ;)

Update on the neighbor situation:
Yesterday the word was that our neighbor was going to have someone come out to paint the house in mid-September. Ok? That’s interesting since they’re planning to sell but whatever. That means the earliest we’d see anyone on that side has to be October. They’re definitely still looking at the other brother as the new owner.

The new renters on the right have already started moving in. I guess they brought some stuff yesterday, or day before, and when we got home tonight they were definitely working on stuff so they should be all in soon. We’ll see how that goes. I haven’t gotten any more gossip about them. haha. I’ll have to wait until an in-person meeting I guess.

Then today! More news about the left house! Apparently the neighbor said it’s definitely sold to the other brother. 0_0 I still won’t believe it until I see it. hah. I love sticking my head in the sand.

It’s fine. Whatever. She said they closed on their house today, or yesterday? So they’re definitely moving. She also said something about “two weeks without anything” where they were going to clean carpets. I don’t know actual dates but the way she mentioned mid-September for paint, I’m thinking those two weeks will be the end of that month. Still seems like they’re leaning towards October at the earliest and who knows. It could be a while after that.

I figure we’ll see some of the other family members around but they don’t really seem to get together with this particular brother so it shouldn’t be too often. This was my thought process right?

Until today…today I learned that they aren’t going to be moving in alone…guess who’s moving in with them?? His MOM. Yup! The mother [and a niece that I know nothing about so she’s irrelevant for now]. The matriarch. You know what people do with their mom? They hang out with her!! Especially a big family like that! And in that big, gorgeous new house, with that beautiful kitchen - they’re going to gather for every birthday and holiday known to man! -_-

sigh

The story right now is that the mom is selling her house in another town and they’ll probably use that money to help fund the purchase of this one. Then she’ll move in with the niece, the son/wife/2 kids, and we’ll see what happens from there. I really don’t think I’m going to believe any of it until I see them. Not just because I’m in denial but it just doesn’t make sense that the Universe would put them there.

I told mom that I think we’re definitely cursed. Like we must have done something really wrong. Perhaps we got super drunk right now [Freudian slip! haha!! I think I meant “one night”…where could my mind have been....], blacked out, and went and killed a bunch of puppies or something! I mean I can barely kill a spider when I’m 100% sober, but you never know! I must have done something terrible, I think.

We were talking a lot of smack. I was being super dramatic complaining about what I must have done and how could this happen to me. Talking, and making tons of jokes, and just generally making a big deal out of it all afternoon.

At some point, as we were driving to tacos, I looked over at mom and was like, ”you know, we’re talking all this smack, but really, I kinda like all of them that I’ve met so far.” Which is so true. I’ve gotten along with all of the brothers that I’ve met. I liked the sister before I even knew she was the sister. The ones that are moving in next door I’ve had a couple interactions with and they aren’t so bad.

This came after we started joking about the brother coming over and maybe being invited over to eat homemade food. He is the one that made us pozole after all. And I started giving mom a hard time about how quickly she gave in and became a traitor to our cause. All for food and drink. haha. But really, I’d totally be down to go hang out if they invited us over. hah. They’re fun, and funny, and I bet the food is delicious. I don’t like to turn down free food and drinks!

We’ll see though. I have no idea what will really happen. I have no idea what it’ll be like at all. It really isn’t as bad as my over-dramatic self is making it out to be. I do like everyone I’ve met and we get along just fine. Whatever happened between TF and I is old news. At some point, if I get close enough to them, I feel like I’d probably throw him under the bus to have some good laughs over how he stood me up. I can throw an excellent guilt trip. =P And it’s fine. I will get over that some day.

It’s gotta be better than a bunch of strangers right?

I’m growing every day, and I am trying to be a better person, and I just want to be good on my own. I’m not sure I’ll ever really be good for someone else. So I’m going to settle in here, finally, and enjoy this life. Whatever it may bring.

rose.
10:34pm

Last updated August 15, 2018