Anybody out there remember the time I was engaged in 2007 and 2008 to a guy I called Mr. Snap? When we broke up mere weeks before the wedding, which was scheduled to be held on the very auspicious date of 08/08/08, I referred to him as EXMS.
I also fell completely apart…deep depression, hard drinking and smoking, lost my job, crying in public…the works. It was very, very hard on my delicate system as nothing “bad” or “tragic” had ever happened in my life until that point. I know how that sounds, but it’s true. I’d lived a pretty soft and lovely life until I understood how painful and life-changing (for the worse) a heartbreak of that magnitude could be.
Flash forward a bit. I know through internet stalking (shame on me, but I couldn’t help it) that in the year that followed our breakup, EXMS got a woman pregnant, they had a baby boy and then a few months later they got married. I used to be mad that SHE stole my life and my man and had the baby of my dreams. I know that it’s not that simple, but it was always painful and weird to me when I thought about it.
Look. It took me years to finally be okay with this and to stop stalking both of their social media accounts. I have such a hard time letting things go, and to me, not thinking about him for weeks and months and finally years on end has been a relief.
Flash forward to this morning. I got a notification that EXMS is following my Instagram account.
What the ever-loving FUCK? Whyyyyyy? In just a few days it will be 10 YEARS since the day we were supposed to be married. Why on earth would he do this? I just can’t figure it out.
And here’s the thing. My IG is public, so you don’t have to follow me to see what I’m posting. So the only reason I can think of for him to actually follow my IG is to send a message…but what exactly is that message?
And by the way, I’m not completely thrown for a loop. I’m well beyond past this life event’s grip on me (as well as EXMS himself) - I’m just surprised and curious.
EDIT: Due to overwhelming response, I’ve blocked him. Thank you. Seriously.
xox,
GS
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