done in surrender

i’m sorry
i’m so tired of trying
i’m just done
i cant pretend to be okay anymore
i have suicidal thoughts every single day
i see a train pass by and all i can think is how easy it would be
i see a bottle of pills and i wonder how many would kill me
i see a razor and think about how to take it apart and how sharp it is
i hate everything about myself
i’m just a horrible person no matter what anyone says
i should be grateful for all i have and yet here i am, wanting to kill myself yet again
i dont know why i’m like this and i’m so tired of trying to figure it out
i’m tired of fighting
i cant do it anymore
i’m sorry
please forgive me