My coworker lost her baby today. She was going in today at 12 for a C-section.....6:30 this morning she noticed a discharge and went to the ER. There was no hearbeat. They decided to go ahead and have her have the baby vaginally. We just got word that she'll deliver in the next hour.
I'm sure they have their reasons but really?? making her go ALL DAY LONG knowing that the baby in her, won't be alive when it comes out. The first time she holds her is going to be the last as well. The going through the emotional not to mention physical pain of pushing her out...then having to do a funeral..then going home to all the baby stuff. I can't imagine how any of this feels. The though of not having Wyatt tears me up, but to actually NOT have my child...I can't begin to imagine.
times like this I ask God why? why does someon who will abuse their child, or someone who does drugs while pregnant...why do they get to have their kids and my coworker who was so excited for her baby girl doesn't? It's not fair. It makes me sick. I keep thinking it's a bad dream, that any minute they'll call and say "she's here! she's beautiful!"
I just...I want to be so mad for her. I want to scream and punch things and just....ugh. She's so young (22, to me that's young) to have to go through this. I always wonder, how does life go on after losing a child? I know it does, eventually...I just don't know how.
i dont think i'll ever run out of tears.
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