Almost a Job in New Beginnings

My recruiter contacted me on Thursday. Kellen is apparently interested in giving me the position. This is a six month contract, and the tentative start date is Wednesday. I want to be excited, but my recruiter told me that they weren’t entirely convinced that I can do the job. Nonetheless, I’m getting the chance. At least if it’s miserable, it’ll only last six months.

I learned a new word last night, hiraeth. It’s a Welsh term that means homesickness for a place one can never return to because it no longer exists or possibly never did. It can also mean nostalgia, yearning, or grief for the places of one’s past. I wonder if that’s what I’m experiencing in my want to move back to Athens. A significant part of the appeal is my sentimentality for it. When I drove back for my instructor interview, I spent an extra couple of hour driving around town, just soaking up the memories: going with Sarah to the anime club, working out at the Spec Towns Track, Monday night pizza in the dining halls, living across from Daniel W. & Daniel H. in Mary Lyndon Hall, Tuesday & Thursday night Tae Kwon Do at the Ramsey Center. All those things, save for the last one, aren’t accessible for me any more. If I lived there, would I instead only be reminded how everyone else moved on to new adventures.

Then I think about where else would I move to. I want to get out of the city where there’s less traffic and more fresh air. I’d like to move to place where housing is much more affordable. Athens has all that plus the nostalgia factor, so it seems like a no-brainer. However, I’ve been trying for years to move back to no avail. Am I supposed to let that be my home that no longer exists? Am I missing out on new, exciting, and fulfilling opportunities by not doing just that? How do you know if you’re pursuing what will make you happy or only what you think will make you happy?

Last updated July 08, 2018