hmm.. in A New Chapter

So things have been decent lately.
After my last entry, I got to spend a nice night with the lady.
In a curious moment, the tables kind of turned. We went from me struggling to her.
Ever since she got her hormonal issues under control, her libido started to suffer. She had to start taking antidepressants. The lack of libido has really contributed to the problems of the past..combined with my chemical imbalances from working late nights..disaster.
Anyhow, we still had a good time and I had the chance to be a real asshole about it..but I wasn’t. I played the good guy and told her I understood the situation. She has been mostly understanding with my problems in the past herself. It was only the right thing to do.

I do have to say that the last few days were interesting.

She left to go teach at a feminine retreat in the mountains. About 10 hours away.
While I did miss her I also forgot what it was like to have all the time in the world to myself.
Women are reactionary while men can be more passive.
I eat dinner and leave my plate on the table. It will eventually get picked up and cleaned..just not right away. When you’re around a lady, it has to be done now.

It was a weird combination of loneliness and freedom. Did I want to go for a car ride at 2:00 AM with the dog and get a coffee? you got it. No explanations needed for anyone other than my bank account. I did miss her tho, just our little jokes and random kisses and hugs.

I don’t really celebrate holidays but I went to a friend’s for this 4th of July. Ended up having a Roman Candle fight with this guy who I kinda hate. It was fun.

On the subject of more upbeat things..
I have been working my ass off(that is not the upbeat part) and it has turned quite interesting.
I feel better in the sense that I have more energy and don’t feel like I constantly need to take naps. Its weird to have free time at night and be able to do whatever. However, I have quickly realized that there isn’t much to do at night as it is..I live in a boring city and I have mentioned that a million times before.

Anyhow, returning to the initial topic, due to the hard work..I received an invitation to apply to a position in another department connected to mine. It would be a daytime position and not much would change as far as I know. Last time this happened I walked away very sorely but lets hope good things come out of this.

I have to admit I am nervous as shit. The entire concept of my life changing is crazy. Also, its kinda like starting over. I have been at my current role for so long that..I have power to get away with a lot and make solid decisions. However, its for the best. I can’t keep seeing doctors and taking medicine due to being awake until 6 AM and getting 5 hours of sleep.

Fingers crossed.

Last updated July 03, 2018