So things have been going fairly swell-I have drank since my last entry, but not a lot. It helps a lot that i’m working on first shift now-I usually work nights as a custodian at the local middle school but now that school is out I work 6 am-230 doing summer cleaning. Last year I hated summer cleaning (it was my first summer there as I’ve only worked there for about 2 1/2 years)but I worked at the high school then and it was a lot harder, and not nearly as laid back as the middle school is. It is kind of an adjustment though-working in a room with like 2 or 3 other people at a time-the different personalities and stuff. People-and a lot of times it’s women but men definitely do it too-gossip, backstabbing, whatever you wanna call it. Too much drama. The guy in charge for the summer is the 1st shift custodian-they have one person in the school during the day, while school is in session, then there are three of us who clean at night.
He’s one of those guys who thinks he knows everything, likes to talk about himself, but is pretty inadequate at his actual job-in other words he doesn’t do his job worth a shit-he’s worked there for 20 some years-kind of a nice guy really, I liked talking to him and I still like the guy, but now that I’ve worked with him this past week I see that he’s not very motivated so-to-speak, and he likes to talk A LOT. The problem is that he doesn’t work and talk at the same time, like the rest of us do. We’re all supposed to be working together & he’s disappearing on us all the time-just kinda hanging out and talking to the few other people who are there.
Years ago I would have thrown myself right into the drama and have to say something back when someone said or did something that I didn’t like, but thankfully these days-and this just really started in the past year for me-I have begun to just let that stuff slide. It’s really not worth it-a lot of times I had to argue back, maybe throw in a couple insults while I was at it because I always tended to take other people’s inventory instead of my own. I grew up with a veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy critical mother and dysfunctional family thrown in with a little depression & addiction, borderline personality disorder maybe, or maybe just never really maltured, had very low self esteem for years, and pretty much was my own worst enemy-I forget what they call it—self-fulfilled prophecy maybe? Always thought the worse was gonna happed, worried about thing before they ever happened or things I thought might happen-
I’ve actually been in a great mood all week-like I said I HATED the work and first shift hours last summer, kind of let it ruin my whole summer and didn’t do a lot except work and drink, and walk my dog Sparticus.
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