fun[ny] guy in 2018

5:45pm

I feel like I’ve been avoiding writing. As I often do.

Also, I was busy trying to work on that one super long entry rehashing the phone call and I stopped writing about the little every day things.

I don’t even know where I left off. I tried to read back on entries this morning and now I don’t remember anything that I read. hah. There were random things going on and then this place was going to implode. Right after we got the [mostly] all clear, I got that call from the Sheriff and I’ve been all caught up in that.

I always say this time is going to be different. I am not going to get wrapped up in it again. I’m going to stay calm and be serious around him. We’re going to work together like any other professional/client. Etc. Etc.

Then the dude calls out of the blue and I’m like a silly little school girl giggling at every damn thing he says. I’m so ashamed of myself. haha! He’s just so easy to get along with. I was swept up in it the moment I heard his voice come in across the line. It was deeper than I remember it. Quiet. A little sexy even ;)

It’s always great to hear from him. It reignites the spark inside of me that makes me feel so good. Even when I try to pretend that it won’t or that it doesn’t. I can’t help it.

Not that I particularly enjoy the mixed signals. I don’t get him at all. Like he remembers every thing we’ve ever spoken about and he hints at so many things, but he doesn’t make any real moves. Plus those moments where he seems to act, and make me feel, like I’m a little kid. I certainly do not want to feel like a kid around any man.
[It’s why I enjoyed TF so much, because he made me feel like he saw me as a woman and no one’s ever done that before..]

He makes me feel better in other ways though. Happy. Energetic. Enthusiastic. Just plain good. I don’t even really know how to describe it. But it’s been that way from the very first day. That two hour meeting changed so many things for me. Whatever the hell he said to me made me feel like that was how I needed to be treated by a man. I can’t even pinpoint what it is though. It’s a feeling. Some thing inside. I’ll know it when I feel it again and I’ve never felt it with anyone but him.

Which is why I get wrapped up in it over and over again every time he comes back into my life. It’s so easy because it feels so good!

Anyway I think I left off somewhere near Thursday. I didn’t hear from him that day and sent a message asking if he’d like a list of questions. On Friday afternoon he started sending stuff. I couldn’t see the first one so he sent it in a picture. I thanked him and asked if he’d decided on a list or phone call. He responded, “Either way, whatever is easiest for you ma’am.” -_- Clearly he’d seen my message with the joke about “hun” and then used it against me! I told him he was funny, mentioned I’d prefer a call, asked what his schedule was like or to call me at the office any time. At almost 8pm he sent a message asking how late I was here but I was about 3 minutes away from packing up and leaving so I didn’t respond. I knew we were tired and I didn’t want to get stuck on the phone. I mean, I really wanted to talk to him but I’m not the only one here.

I started replying to his message after I got home, but I was multi-tasking with trying to make a drink and find food to eat. I don’t think I’d had lunch that day, or very little of it. I think my aunt brought lunch but I didn’t have time to eat it. So yeah I was doing all that and it took me a bit to type up the reply where I apologized for not checking my mail [such a liar!] and because he’d mentioned trying to call in the morning I made a joke about not having spoken with my best friend in a while aka his voicemail.

After I sent it I noticed it wasn’t going through and that his name was in bold. I thought it was weird but I’m still trying to figure out how phones work. =\ It sat a bit and then I found an email from him. I guess at the same time that I was typing he was sending another one with his whole work schedule. Hey now I know he’s busy during the entire day! ha. Up at 4:30 [ridiculous!], at work by 6am, back home after 7pm. He mentioned if he didn’t answer I could leave a vm, send text, email, whatever and he’ll get back to me. Thanks, Have a great evening, Ma’am with one of those smiley faces saying “shh” because now he’s not going to let that joke go.

I responded back telling him that we seem to be emailing at the same time. That he had a crazy schedule and I was exhausted after working 9-8. I told him I’d try him the next day and “I think we can go back to hun now funny guy.” -_-

Saturday I got a little busy in the morning so I didn’t call him until around 10:30am. Of course he didn’t answer so I left a fun voicemail saying something like, “Hello favorite voicemail, can you please have Sheriff call me back as soon as he gets a chance? Thank you!” All cutesy.

A few minutes later I checked my email and there was a message: Trying to find a missing person. I’ll call you back. gasp I totally get that he’s a cop and whatever but it’s so weird to hear someone you know say something like that.
He called me back around 12:45pm and we chatted. Mostly not-work related. =] It wasn’t even that long of a call. Maybe 10 minutes or so. A lot of it about his birthday after I tried to confirm whether or not he was coming into town. I don’t think he’ll come at all, which is weird. He always spends like 2 weeks out here over his birthday. I get things are different now with his grandma passing and having been out here a lot already this year. Oh well.

We talked about the missing people and I asked a question and then said I wasn’t sure if he was allowed to talk about that stuff because wth do I know? haha. He said it was fine. A couple of loser kids running away; parents reporting cars stolen. All that. I could hear his radio going off in the background. Very distracting. Probably part of the reason we didn’t get a lot done. I was a little paranoid about being on speaker and who else might be able to hear the stupid sh*t I say. =P

That’s also the convo in which he said I was half his age. I was like, “dang! I’m not that young!” I told him I was at least old enough to have a legal drink and we joked about being carded. I said if he came for his birthday we’d throw him a party outside. Also if he came I’d buy him a balloon. He said he was convinced. He’d definitely come now. haha.

I don’t know what else we talked about but it wasn’t much. I sent him an email later saying we didn’t get much done but it was nice talking to him. Around 7pm he sent a couple more pictures of stuff. I made a comment about him being productive, that I’d work on it Sunday. Also that he didn’t have to send so many pictures just give me numbers and made a comment about never having sent so many messages before. Which maybe he took the wrong way because I sent a message with a joke yesterday - no response. Then another one about how he was going to get tired of me after so much contact and asked about a good time for another call. Nothing. Even a text/email Saturday night went unanswered and I haven’t heard another word since. Hmmm? Seems he’s gone missing too.
Mom reminded me it wouldn’t be the first time. Totally true! I should be used to it by now.

He did say he might have tomorrow off so maybe I’ll hear something then. Weird he just stopped responding after so much back and forth though. We’ll see how things go. I’m still constantly telling my mind not to wander. It’s so hard not to overthink it or miss talking to him. I’ve gotta suck it up though and move on. I know that life will work out the way it’s supposed to. It always has!

Although I totally made this entire entry about him because this is still me not obsessing. hah! I’m such a sucker.

There isn’t much else going on anyway besides work. The BBQ guy popped in a couple days ago, Friday maybe, just to say hi. He didn’t even walk in. Just wanted to see how things were going as he passed by to go get a sandwich on his way back to work. I could tell he didn’t want to come all the way in because we’d get carried away talking and he’d run late. Nice seeing him.

The jobs out on the base have been posted. Looks like they’ll run late June - early August. Not bad timing but I don’t know. There might be a trip to WI and the Carolinas during that time. I’d rather do that instead. :) I haven’t decided yet. I’m going to give it more thought.

That’s pretty much it. I’ve been getting out around 7 or 8 at night and I’m exhausted. It’s not even that busy but just a lot of tiring clients and long days in the office. I cannot wait to be done! So close!!

rose.
9:20pm