Needy in Stuff

I don’t want to complain that Megan is needy, even though she really is. She’s easily the most needy person in my life, far more than my children. But I feel like I’ve been so detached from a social life for the last few years, that I actually appreciate having someone like her in my life, needy or not. So I won’t complain.

Last night I was getting into bed and literally about to change my phone to ‘do not disturb’ when it buzzed a new message from Megan. It said, “Bored and lonesome. Can I come over to chat?”

This actually surprised me because she tries to put up this image of being in complete control at all times and that nothing ever bothers her, so just admitting she was feeling lonesome felt like a big deal. I started to write back that I was getting into bed but changed my mind and invited her over.

She came over in pajama pants, a tank top, and a hoodie. Probably the most casual I’ve ever seen her dress, including when we’re at the gym. I get the impression she spends way more money on clothes than is necessary. I commented about the pajama pants because they seemed out-of-character for her. She said, with a shrug, “Agent Provocateur, probably cost like $500, they were a gift and sometimes I feel like wearing them just because I feel bad that I never wear them, if that makes sense.”

I should have known. We went into the living room and sat down. Olsen was out with friend, Mercer was in her room, and Harrison was playing some game on a laptop in the other room.

We sat there and stared at each other in silence. She wiped a tear from her eye and didn’t say anything, so I asked what was bothering her. She commented that it was probably hormones, but she was feeling really down.

Then she said something she she’d never expressed to me before. She complained that she had moved from Miami to Boston specifically to be with her sisters, and then within a year both of her sisters moved away. And then she added, “I feel like they moved away because of me. Like they didn’t want to be living so close to me.”

I responded, “I don’t know your sisters very well but I can’t imagine that that’s true.”

She shrugged. Didn’t say anything for a while. Then: “Does everyone in the neighborhood hate me? You talk to other neighbors, don’t you?”

I answered her completely honestly, that when she would come up while talking with neighbors it was usually hushed comments about what she used to do for a living. But I never felt like there was much negativity.

She complained she had no friends next. I responded that not only was she my friend, but she’s one of my only friends and probably the best friend I’ve had in years. After that, she told me she loved me about 6 times. I took it in a friendly way, not a weird way.

We stayed on the couch for about another hour just bullshitting about random things. She asked if she could sleep on the couch and I suggested the guest room if she really didn’t want to go home. She thought about it and then decided to just go home.

I’m tired today because she kept me up late, but I’m not complaining about her neediness.