Vent!! in A New Journey

Well I don’t usually like to vent on here but I will so maybe it will help me as I am writing all this down and I will get to feeling some what better.
Weather change is good but this has been the hardest winter I have dealt with but not regretting the move to Wyoming, Just need to adjust to the cold weather and figure out how to manage it better. I have had days where I was in no mood to deal with my phone or computer or just people. I have been some what depressed about my health, but I am trying real hard knowing I am here for a good reason! My grand kids as they always are happy to see me every day, knowing I am helping my daughter making things a little easier on her. Encouraging my youngest son to venture out to a new journey on his future once he graduates. I am enjoying some of my time with my boyfriend Dennis but I have days all I want to do is lay on my couch and bed and just sleep. That is so out of me as the last 8 months the change has been hard but I know its is rewarding being at a better place. (I sound so confusing don’t I)
I know with me getting up every morning is a good reason but I am walking up with the most excruciating pain, my Psoriatic Arthritis and Spondylitis Arthritis pain has been very difficult and knowing I have to deal with it every day. IT takes me like 2 hours to get to feeling so much better and I do feel manage to get around much better just after I do my daily walk but I do have days I don’t for a walk and I take an easy and its not so bad but then I have guilt that I didn’t get out and walk for my own good.
I take my regular daily natural health treatments like ACV (apple cider vinagar), Tumeric, Ginger. BUT when I am really in pain I do have to treat myself some Tramadols just to manage the day. SO I am just trying to do it right but then I feel like I want some attention but that isn’t right to do that, SO I just manage my days to keep busy and try my best to be happy and enjoy life!! I am NOT getting any younger so I have to understand my disease and just manage my days the best I can.
Psoraitic Arthritis is very complicated, People will tell me I look fine but you know what they have NO IDEA what pain I go thru on a daily basis!! It is very exhausting to take showers, cook, do house hold stuff or even spend some quality time with my grand kids or even go for my 4 mile walk (I do feel some what better after my walks but then I start to spiral down hill that evening) IT is a daily struggle and HOW I do it, I just keep on going for one reason!!
MYSELF!!
I am human and I am going to find a way to make things the best I can and know that all my kids and grand kids can depend on me til I have to depend on them some day. (DON”T want that to happen, but its reality!!) !!!!
I struggle sleeping every night, I do find time to take small naps on a occasional days, but I know I don’t want to be sad and feeling pain every day, don’t get me wrong I do have good days and bad days. MY good days I do tend to over due it on those days and WOW I pay for it the next day. SO its a every day battle!
I have done so many research how I can make this better for me, but this disease its real, and I just need to stay strong for myself, my kids, my grand kids and my family!!!

One thing about the weather change it can really do a huge INFLICTION on you, I wouldn’t mind living on a ISLAND that is warm all year round but that would not solve my life! (Just dreaming)
Well I have my grand kids for the next 3 days, they are always a joy to have, I enjoy reading time with my Bubba and my Amber, we love reading books. Last night Bubba read a few chapters in a book he really enjoys, (Miss Lanely is Zany). HE read it to me! I really enjoy that time.
OH MY GOSH its already 2:00 I need to go pick up Amber from school and drop off Rocket to work and get back home and make supper!!
LOVE MY NEW LIFE even tho I maybe depressed or in pain or what ever!!

Happy MONDAY!! UGH its only MONDAY! LAUGHING HARD!!

HUGS!!