solo mornings in 2018

11:26am

Hello again.

Clearly my tolerance for drinking is a lot lower than it used to be. heh =\

At least I didn’t do any thing more than type up that entry last night. Being tipsy and being on the internet can make for a bad combination. I didn’t even think I’d had that much to drink but maybe because I’ve cut back recently it has started to affect me. Or maybe I wasn’t controlling my pours like I thought I was. haha. Either way doesn’t matter much. I was at home with the doors locked and I didn’t do anything stupid. I was in bed by like 10:30, I think, and other than the room spinning for a second when I first shut my eyes, I was totally fine. Slept really well and woke up before my alarm although I had a hard time getting out of bed.

I was left to my own devices this morning so I had a slow start. Showered and ended up just eating cereal for breakfast. I’ve been eating too many meals lately and the thought of a full breakfast did not sound good. Plus I knew I had lunch to bring to work so I wasn’t worried about not being full for long. I played my music nice and loud instead of watching the news and it was a nice morning.

I’ve been listening to a lot of reggaeton lately. Funny enough I jumped from a country kick into this. Both sides of my genetic makeup I guess. haha. The music tends to lean towards the inappropriately dirty side, especially for a sweet innocent angel such as myself, but I really love the beat. I’m not much of a dancer but that music gets me moving! It’s so good! =)

Anyway, I ran outside a few minutes before I had to go and made sure the truck would start. We’ve been having issues with the car starting and then the truck had trouble the other day. Not sure what’s going on there but it started up like a champ this morning. I ran back inside to grab food and coffee and made it into the office right at 9am.

A little after 9:30 I ended up calling TF. I know! We’ve already established I’m an idiot…
I was alone in the office and it was business related! I guess I didn’t necessarily need to know for sure if he received the deposit but I wanted confirmation that we’re no longer having issues with his stuff. So I called. By about the 3rd ring I was leaning over to hang up when I heard, “This is TF” and I thought it was the answering machine so I hesitated to respond. He’s never answered like that before but maybe there were people around? I don’t know. I repeated his name and he goes, “yeah this is TF.” Oh hi. and I said my name because I was so thrown off by the way he answered that I wasn’t sure if he realized who it was.

Then he started repeating my name in that way that he does, like with a Spanish accent and half singing it out. I don’t know how to describe it. Doesn’t matter. I’d worked my heart rate up so I stumbled through words. I don’t know why the thought of talking to him makes me so nervous. I went on a date with the dude for pete’s sake and that didn’t make me nervous at all. But apparently I can’t make a two minute phone call to the guy.

Well I managed to sound mostly coherent and asked if he’d gotten the deposit or if he’d noticed it. He said he hadn’t really paid attention or checked his account. I made a joke about how it must be nice to be rich and he said it wasn’t really a significant enough amount to notice. Which yeah, that’s true. I said I was just calling to check and then words got stuck in my throat for a second. I finally managed to say I also wanted to make sure he wasn’t having any more issues this year. He thanked me for checking in. And said he’d go through his account and see if it was there. I told him it should have gone through in the last couple of weeks and he said he was going to look into it. He asked if we were in the office all day and I laughed. Yeah. Monday through Saturday. He was talking real low at this point so I had to have him repeat what he was saying. But it was just something about this time of year. I was doing an annoying nervous laugh thing and said it was almost over. He thanked me a couple of times and probably said he’d let me know and we hung up.

Do I actually think he’ll call me back....probably not. He has a terrible track record. Oh well though. I asked. My work here is done.

For a split second I contemplated why he might have asked if we were here all day, but I shouldn’t read into it. I think if I continue to talk to him like it’s no big deal then getting over this whole thing will be a lot easier. Like I need to get to a point where I’m not nervous calling him or running into him. I’m doing this to myself. Holding him up here on this pedestal he doesn’t need to be on. Making him some kind of ideal he doesn’t need to be. I know he’s not perfect. I know we’re not a thing. I know I’d be better off if I shifted my focus elsewhere. I know all of this. It’s the actual doing of these things that has me stuck.

I do have other plans, lest you think this is the only thing I have going on in life. I’m really thinking I’ll apply to the summer hire job at the base. I saw the big shot yesterday and he said he hadn’t forgotten about me. I told him I reactivated my account on USA jobs and he said he thought it would be good for me to get my face out there around the base.

I’m not sure how much effort I want to put into the whole application process. I don’t really need the job so I don’t want to run around stressing myself out for it. If he gets in touch and there’s a way to pretty much guarantee I get placed with his office, I’ll definitely do it. It’s only for like six weeks but it might coincide with my trip to Hawaii and/or a business meeting. I’d forgotten about that. Hmm…hopefully not. It would be nice to travel out there into the wilderness every day and see different people. I miss that about working in an outside office environment. Not that I’m a big people person. It’s just nice to interact with other humans every now and then. Talk to someone that doesn’t know every thing about you. Learn new things.

sidenote: There’s a guy standing outside my window that looks exactly like that guy in About A Boy. We are on the way to LA. Should I go accidentally bump into him and ask if he’s famous? haha.

Is it Sunday yet? Or I guess just making it to the end of this day wouldn’t be so bad. I want to sit on my couch and watch LivePD and have a drink. This time I’ll pace myself better though. haha. The weather’s this weird overcast that makes it look like it might rain again but I doubt it. I hope it doesn’t rain before Sunday because I really need to mow the lawn. Maybe I’ll do it after work if it’s still light out. Better safe than sorry.

I’ve only got one more client left on the books but tomorrow is packed every hour. I’ve already squeezed too many people in. heh. Whoops. As long as there aren’t a lot of walk-ins we should be fine. We’ll see how it goes though. I’ve made it through 10/12 statements on another client and I’ll need to do some work on JR’s stuff. Although I did a pretty good catch up session yesterday after he came by with paperwork.

My last client just pushed the appointment back a half hour and said we’d go to dinner after so that’s cool. I had lunch less than an hour ago but maybe a snack and a drink. A couple nights ago I had half a mini-lava cake for dinner. Then a bowl of salsa because it smelled so good I couldn’t help myself. ha. The weird random meals of the season!

Y’s birthday was yesterday and she said they were in wine country celebrating. I told her I knew a sheriff nearby in case there was an emergency. haha ;) I’m still wondering if he’s going to show up this year and what that’ll be like if he does. Also, I want to make a trip out that way since I didn’t get to go last year. But whereas I would have contacted him last year, I won’t this year. Unless of course we become like best friends forever between now and then. haha.

I think I’m just randomly mentioning whatever pops into my mind now so I’m probably done.

Oh! on the friend front - K announced not that long ago that they’re expecting a baby! I don’t think I wrote about that. The announcement came through on a group text and of course I made jokes about how they were ruining my timeline and adding fuel to my mother’s fire of “see! why aren’t you married yet!” We all had a good laugh about it, but seriously they’ve left me behind and it’s a little tiny bit sad. Not that that makes me want to jump into anything any sooner but still. Bunch a jerks. =P

Looks like the baby is due around September which is around when we were talking about going out there. I don’t think any of them will plan anything so I kinda want to spearhead the whole thing. Convince them to take the trip. It would be win-win. We could all have a nice vacation together. We could meet the new baby! We could celebrate all of our birthdays! This would be a good plan but I feel like I need to get everyone on board and plan things. We’ll see. I know both Y and L have anniversaries in September so they might have their own plans already. We definitely need to work something in though. And it turns out that the new baby is going to be a girl so someone pointed out that so far the new generation to our group are girls which is pretty awesome. I’m sure I’ll be the last one to make a new addition, if at all, but it would be so cool if we all had girls first. Although I’d probably do better raising a boy. haha.

Ok. Now I’m done.

rose.
4:57pm

Last updated March 10, 2018