alternate reality in 2018

6:21pm

I’m still at work. Honestly, I’d rather be done with this day and this season. I can’t even imagine coming in here every day for the next two months. Maybe I’m just in a funk though.

A client yesterday basically offered me a job on the local base. He’s some sort of big shot director or something out there and I was surprised when he said, “you should come work for me.” I didn’t even realize he was talking to me until I turned around and he was looking right at me. I mentioned that I’d wanted to find a part-time job during the offseason but couldn’t really find anyone to hire me for such a short amount of time. He told me that they do a summer hire on the base and he’d definitely find a place for me. He ended up taking my card and writing notes on it and said he’d get in touch with me when the postings went up. I’d asked where they listed them because I usually check out usa jobs. I guess maybe he’ll get in touch with me directly? That would be cool. Only bad thing would be having to drive out there every day and possibly giving up my vacation time. hah. It would be something to look into though. I wouldn’t mind working on base and working with him would be good. I know he’d be cool to work for and he seems to like to watch over me [for whatever reason]. He’d set me up good. Get my foot in the door if I wanted it. Plus, sitting around good looking soldiers all day? Yes, please. ;)

I saw TF today. I don’t really want to talk about it right now. Which is kinda surprising because I’m normally all about venting. Maybe tomorrow. Or if I change my mind after I get home I’ll update this.

It wasn’t bad or anything. Just that when he walked out the door I had this feeling like I won’t see him again for another year and I’m stupid enough to not want to wait that long. There’s some damn thing about him that gets to me. I don’t know what it is. I told mom we’re a lot like fire and gasoline, and I cannot help but want to light that match. Such a fool. sigh

He was nice enough. We poked each other a little bit, as we always do. It’s weird because it’s like being in the room with someone you dated but there’s this sense that nothing ever happened. Which it did not [in the physical sense], so that’s mostly understandable. But I don’t know. It’s still strange. Like nothing ever existed between us except I can remember all of those words still ringing in my head. Like living in an alternate reality, or something.

I had zero desire to finish this last night. I got out of work around 7:30 and I was so tired that I basically went home, changed, had a bowl of cereal so I could take another pill, made a drink and sat on the couch barely moving for like the next two hours until I went to bed. Then because I’d held it in so long I started sobbing pretty uncontrollably ‘till I fell asleep. My poor aching heart.

rose.

Last updated February 21, 2018