February 19, 2018 in Journal 1

How are people happy in college?
I think I’ve found the source of my discomfort, and that is that I don’t have a life when I’m in college.
I live in a shitty apartment/room without friends, family, animals, a car, capital, or any amenities that make where I’m living for 9 months at a time feel like home. It’s taken 3 years and thousands of miles to feel it full-force, but I am genuinely and cripplingly homesick. I want to live in a decent apartment with an animal of my own to take on walks and a car to escape when I feel the need. I want some freedom, but the commitment I have made to getting an education has kept me from seizing it. I only have one and half more years to go, but it’s like trying to stick out a failing marriage.
I want to go home. I want to be free. I want to be happy. But, people have it worse.