021818 in Who I Am

So Matt came over last night and he found this ball gag I ordered for myself online (its pink and super cute) but i legit had not used it yet, so when he asked me if i id used it with anyone I could say no and i wasn’t lying haha

I dread the day that I tell him I’ve been on a slampage since like day 1 of being single. I shouldn’t really feel bad for it though. We may not get back together though, so I guess I never have to tell him until he asks.

I am finding myself breaking it off with a few of my FWBS, dick appts, fuckboys, whatever you wanna call em. Idk there must be a reason for that. Or I’m just bored of them and am starting to hate them, just like I start to hate everyone.
I wish I wasn’t like that lol I’d live a much happier life.
Oh well. Atleast I tell people whats up now. Contributes to a lot less bullshit.

Still lowkey sad about Alex. Not that he was like seeing other ppl because obvs i do too… but damn. he had two kids?? never mentioned even one. i guess im disappointed because he had no reason to lie. we literally met each other out of nowhere. but he chose to keep stuff away anyway. i just dont get why people do that?
Im mostly sad because I remember kissing this dude and feeling my world stop. I felt everything in that moment and nothing else mattered.
He made me feel a way I hadn’t in so many years! (I sound like Im super old lol) but for real.. why allexxxxx. whyyyy. goddammit.
As expected he hasnt responded to any of my messages from the other day, and he blocked me on facebook. What a fucking twatttt.

17 More days of being on call/hating my life in sandwhich land
22 Til I start my new job!

Last updated February 18, 2018