i wish i could just watch movies for the rest of my life. and maybe i can? being a film critic with sway and notoriety would be such an interesting career. i can appreciate many things; i’m open-minded. i also have a vast number of opinions, opinions not easily changed.
side note: i like classifying my opinions as ‘new age’. not exactly sure if that is the right descriptor, but they’re words and i can give them my interpretation and apply them how i want– anyway, what i mean by that is that i will always prefer movies made in the years i was/will be alive.
to put it simply, fuck most of the classics. they’re so formulated and BLEED misogyny, racism, and heteronormativity. yawn.
it’s funny, people will probably doubt my credibility as a film critic if i didn’t watch On The Waterfront or Citizen Kane (which I have seen, funny enough) or fucking Casablanca sixteen times. those movies are not from my era, and i don’t want to watch them more than once. they will not be on my top 10 lists, their accolades will not be escaping this mouth. i do not care what i can learn from them, that is irrelevant to me.
i love film, more than you’d know. i don’t need to watch every marlon brando movie to prove it either. i don’t need to prove it at all, actually. it is an art form, subjectivity rules.
this tangent about movies, by the way, was caused by me thinking about how much i hate my current job. it is unfulfilling, trite. that being said, i do not shirk my duties. who would that help? i’m not going to be an asshole just because i am unhappy about my situation– that would make things harder for my coworkers who owe me no happiness.
…
i hate owing people. debts. i hate debts too. there is deep reasoning as to why this is, but i don’t care to explain this now. mostly because i’ve never explained it in words before. it has only been bounced around in my mind thousands of times so i cannot conceptualize it yet.
i wonder if anyone reads these.
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