Witnessed. in Plain ol' Stuff

This is about a moment in time - not about anything present or social issues of now or what’s worse nowadays than back then. Sometimes I might write things gasp for myself. If any comments pop up that are not related to this particular thing or how things are now, buzz off, bc I’ll delete or ignore.

When I was 16, I had the best job ever. Plus, I was the only white girl - no other girls and everyone was Mexican or Indian. (I wouldn’t say I was always respected sexually in the verbal sense, but it didn’t bug me.)

When 9/11 went down, I was 17.

I remember a few months or weeks later, my boss was at the cash register. A man brought up 9/11, and asked him how he felt about it.

At that moment, I knew he was being fucking racial/religious. I stood in horror, wondering what my boss would say. Sometimes I remember it going deeper than that in the conversation… But I can’t recall for certain if that happened. Just this moment.

I was different at 17. I was quieter. I also hadn’t ever seen blatant racism.... Or at least back-handed. I grew up in the wealthy white suburbs, you know?

I still feel for my bosses at that time. I also knew my Mexican buddies were paid under the table, but okay. I saw the checks written out to someone else. My Indian boyfriend was stopped because he “didn’t stop long enough at a stop sign” during that time, too.

I didn’t have the capacity to be angry at that time. I didn’t know what exactly it meant. I was upset, but in a different way than I would be now.

If I wasn’t 17 and quiet, I might have told that guy to fuck off (not in a confrontational matter, just getting into the convo with my buddy and talking, too).

I witnessed it happen a few times. I’m really feeling that sadness today for some reason. He must have been used to it. I wonder what he does now as time has been passing.