Rush and Counseling 9/18/2002
I went to the second round of Rush tonight. I wasn't that thrilled with it. Everyone kept calling me 'Becca's little sister.' My future pledge class seems nice enough, but everyone's pledging with buddies. I dunno, I'll see.
I'm debating on whether or not to go to another sorority's Rush. My sister said that they're really mean to pledges. That may be true, but at least I won't be known as 'Becca's little sister.' I have an hour and a half to decide.
I have been unofficially dumped by Melis, Jess, and Kira. They constantly leave me out of things, when they walk into the room they only ask for Jess, and basically just treat me as Jess's roommate instead of a girl that they used to hang out with. Kira was telling me yesterday that she was going to get her nose pierced the next day. I offered to come, but she said 'I don't want a big group there.' She brought Melis and Jess to the piercing parlor today with her, and I got stuck here. I'm not going to force myself on other people. It just sucks.
My mother called today. I tried so hard not to cry. She sounded so hopeful when she asked how I was doing, so I lied and said I was fine.
I won't transfer again. There's no point. It's not the schools, it's my personality. I found out that most of the apartments for next year are already taken. I was hoping to end up rooming with girls from my pledge class, but they're all upperclassmen and have their apartments and houses all set up with their own friends. Although I would loathe to do it, I might try to get an apartment by myself. I can't stand being alone, but it's better than being with people who screw me over.
I made an appointment at Binghamton's Counseling Center the first week of school. The day of the appointment, I canceled it. I was having such a fantastic time, I figured I didn't need it. It's not the homesickness that kills me, I've finally realized; it's the loneliness. I think I'm going to try and reschedule an appointment.
Artist
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