I was surprised to notice that I don’t really agree with a lot of the authors points. Crazy to realize that I really do just have my own thoughts and opinions. I knew they were in there somewhere!
Okay that being said, let me dive in here. I have always been a big believer in thinking before speaking. I am not by any means saying that I do this. I probably don’t even do it half the time. I can think of dozens of times where I think about something I said a day later, a week later, a month, or even sometimes multiple years later and realize I should have said something different. I am in the process of learning to keep my mouth shut. That truly is the key to not making an ass out of myself. Cement my mouth closed. Just say nothing. Saying nothing is better than saying something that is so stupid that your family probably thinks that you’re a total screw up loser who is incapable of an intelligent conversation. Believe me, I promise that this is the impression that I give every single time I go to my sister’s house. I get obnoxious and belligerent when I am there. I don’t know why I do this. It’s a habit I want desperately to go away. What on Earth could it be that brings this side out in me? Why do I cuss like a sailor when I’m there? Why do both of my sisters bring out the very worst in me? I want to know this. I will say that I do feel inferior to both of them. I am the dumb one of the group. This is true. But why can’t I just shut my mouth? This is the key to it all. If I say nothing, then there is nothing to regret saying. Wow, I need to write that on my bedroom wall somewhere.
I want to sit outside of myself. See what it is that I am doing, that I’m clearly not seeing while on the inside. Is it fear? I don’t think so. Is it? I don’t know. I wish that I could see what it is that I’m missing.
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