transmission 94 in Random Thoughts

Revised: 12/11/2017 5:04 p.m.

  • Dec. 11, 2017, 11:02 a.m.
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I quickly checked my last year’s entries. About this time was the first big snows Portland area had, with quite a few snow days off. It was when i was really falling for Ian. I took a day off and we called it my “shenownegans” day. He loved my turns of phrase and word play.

I never followed up about when Ian and i parted ways last May. Part of that was i wanted a clean leavetaking, but really it was that i had been hurt. Really hurt. I had fallen for him hard and, truth be told, when i re-read those entries and think about it in more than just passing… i’m not over him. It will take time.

We text occasionally, but haven’t seen one another. It’s always me that initiates the text. Our conversations surround film and some chat regarding interesting words and their meanings. This really only happens once every 3-4 weeks.

This last week before winter break is tough on all parties at school; teachers, staff, and students alike. I decided to take a morning lovingkindness meditation and yoga series from 6:15am to 7:30am every morning this week. I want to make sure i can have a compassionate and open heart when working with my students and other co-workers who may be struggling at this time.

I really feel a deep sense of fulfillment when i can be of service to others, even if all it is (ha) is being mentally, emotionally, lovingly available to the people in my life.

Cheers everyone. I really look forward to some time off so i can get words out that have been brewing in me.


Last updated December 11, 2017


Deleted user December 11, 2017

Hope these days are kind to you too. I am sorry about Ian.

carmentheblue Deleted user ⋅ December 11, 2017

Thanks. There never was much I could do about it 😕

Deleted user carmentheblue ⋅ December 11, 2017

:-(

Deleted user December 11, 2017

Not everyone seems to be able to do the "inner work" it takes to get to a place where you can be strong for others. So. Keep up he good work and happy healing ♥

carmentheblue Deleted user ⋅ December 11, 2017

Thank you, that means a lot.

WhatDreamsMayCome December 11, 2017

I look forward to your words.

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