I’m shaking right now and my chest hurts. I just revealed to a woman the truth about her husband. I was in a relationship with him over a year ago - he had told me in early 2016 that he had recently divorced his wife because she cheated on him - they had a toddler daughter they were co-parenting. According to him, they remained good friends, and she knew about me.
Our relationship was traumatic, verbally and emotionally abusive, landed me in the hospital a couple times and cost me money (he stole) and an abortion. I had never hit such rock bottom, and it was a welcomed miracle when I broke free in January 2017 and blocked him. He continued to attempt contact every month, and even harassed some of my friends. This week, it was getting especially bad, and I was feeling the trauma of winter, so tonight I sought out his (supposed ex-) wife to ask her if she could get him to stop contacting me.
She had no idea. They had never been divorced. She knew nothing. I felt nauseous as she asked me to send her photos, which I did. She had trouble trusting me at first, because he was feeding her lies that he had angered someone from a forum and was being set up - but finally with all the photos sent, he admitted it to her. We made an appointment to meet on Tuesday so I could show her all his texts.
I feel sick. She doesn’t deserve this, and they have a young daughter that will experience the fallout from this. I don’t deserve this either. Why couldn’t he have just left me alone once I cut him off? She thanked me - “otherwise I would have never known” - but I wonder if it’s better to know in these situations. What if she would have been happier not knowing? Was I selfish in reaching out to her? I just wanted desperately for him to stop hassling me.
2017 is the year of immense anger toward men.
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