Streesss in Who I Am

Omg. Christmas is in like 17 days. I’ve gotten zero personalized gifts for anyone because I am so incredibly broke. I have no time to go shopping bc of work, and when I’m off work I don’t fuckin wanna go deal with more people.

Gyms’ been great all week, minus the fact that i slept through my training on wednesday bc I got four hours of sleep the night before..if that. and had inventory. fuckin killll me lol

Alex has been on my mind this week. Idk what it is right now but it kind of makes me sad that we seemed to disconnect. I mean I thought we were really into each other, especially after our Halloween date at the haunted houses. But then it seemed like he was like.. trying to be distant with me. Maybe he just felt it was moving kind of fast, and maybe it was, but i wish he would have talked to me about his feels. I mean to be fair, I could have done the same. Idk. It’s really disappointing. I was so excited to go to decadence with him and stuff but now I dont even wanna ask him if he got his tickets bc I feel like the answer is no.

Matt and I have been talking a lot more lately and Ive been having him over a lot more. I just feel..idk..whole when I’m with Matt. I’ve definitely missed him, but if we do end up getting back together, Im worried he will ask how many people I slept with after we broke up.. because its kind of a lot when you think about it in the time span…

But.. it happened.
Speaking of which, I have a D appointment soon so I need to go to the gym so i can shower and get ready for that.