A Frightening Conversation in The Emergence of Anaissa

  • Dec. 6, 2017, 5:50 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

Not too long ago I negotiated a deeply personal covenant between my masculine and feminine spirits. In effect, my culturally dictated male persona said, “Look, I have been wearing a man-mask for far too long. I want my feminine side to emerge.

My feminine persona was overwhelmed with delight. “Yes! Yes! I’m tired of being repressed and battered. Let my true self come out.”

Unfortunately, the masculine spirit waivered and confessed impulsivity.

“No, no, no,” protested the great feminine spirit. You have come too far to abandon your lifelong dream of womanhood.”

“But it would be far simpler to keep the mask. There would be no awkward transitions or strained relationships. I could hold onto my friends and family without having to reveal my very soul and risk losing their love for me.”

The female voice inside grew more intense. “It’s not your physical appearance or mask that makes you lovable. It’s your kindness, your creativity, your sense of humor, and above all your loving nature that makes you unique; dare I say special.”

The one wearing the man-mask lamented. “The truth is, I am ready to risk it all. I’m ready to put my life as I know it on the line. There is only one person I cannot bear to lose—my son.”

An aura of sadness and hopelessness surrounded the masculine spirit.

“We can work this out,” the feminine spirit whispered. “I will be with you always and you will be with me. Every ounce of your love will be felt by all who walk with you.”

The spirit continued, “I will promise you freedom and hope.”

“And what shall I promise you?” asked the other spirit.

“Love your son with all of your heart and soul. Hold him in your protective arms and let him know that he is your forever child. Encourage him to embrace truth and endure the many ironies of life.”

“And one more thing—love yourself—your genuine, real self.”

The aura around the male spirit began to brighten. “So what will happen if we enter into this covenant?”

The magnificent feminine spirit smiled and said, “your son will always love and respect you. He will be full of grace and will lift you up. He will become more confident and resolute in his own life.”

“You seem like a wise prophetess,” declared the masculine spirit.”

“You son has never loved you because you possess a man-shaped penis. He has loved you because you have an amazing heart.”

Wtiter’s Note: Today, in 90 minutes, I will sit down with my precious boy to let him know of my decision to bring my flesh in line with my spirit. I will attempt to explain my gender dysphoria and my anticipated journey to womanhood. I will let you, my readers, know the outcome (good or bad).


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