For days I thought about how he looked at me.
How he isn’t the ocean now, but something else.
Maybe mountains.
Unmoving, and not scaleable.
Still distant. Just different.
A new kind of unreachable height.
I can’t chase him this time.
Swim into the depths.
Climb his towering walls.
It’s hard not to.
I know how thin time is.
And.
Instead of overextending mine.
I just have to…
Breathe..and keep to what I’m good at.
And it’s ok.
I just know it is.
I feel like I waited so long.
Time doesn’t matter.. even when it hurts.
Being away was a lesson.
This, too, is a lesson.
Because my lack of granting time and patience killed us before.
He’s scared of snuffing me out with distance.
And I’m afraid of wanting too much.
It’s weird…
Remembering how it feels to care.
The kind of care that makes you want to build a fortress in someone else’s soul.
To wrap your arms around their head and shield them from thoughts.
Place your hand on their face to lift their heart.
There is a long road, but it isnt alone.
It is longing.
It is late nights.
Distance.
But it is also faith
Trust.
Undeniable.
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