wtf even in Who I Am

I keep talking to Matt and hanging out with him again. I feel like it’s stupid. But I still care about him a lot. He’s still a person I have a really deep connection with, and I don’t have that with anyone else. I miss that. We’ve talked about how we both are still objectively the same as we were when we broke up. We still want different things.

I told Matt I’ve seen other people, I just want him to be aware. I mean. Not completely. He probably wouldn’t talk to me anymore if he knew all that I’ve been up to.

I started talking to this dude on tinder named Tyler, and he’s really into the EDM scene and he is super cute with a lot of tattoos, also he’s going to nursing school and really is into travel. But like Alex, his home base is 45 minutes away in L. Why does this happen to me. haha he seems nice, and like a “deeper connection type’ which I’m actually really digging. I hope he asks for my number or something. I followed him on instagram

This douche from HS named Caleb keeps hitting me up on various social medias. He is… really hot but SUUUUCH a bro/douche… funny how now that I’ve lost weight these dudes who wouldn’t even give me the time of day come out of the woodwork.

Like bitch did you even know my name until THIS year. Not that it matters I guess.

Work sucked today. Hopefully it’ll be better tomorrow. That’s always the case these days. I miss my old store.

Alex and I still talk and occasionally see each other and send nudes. I think the crushing is over but he still is by far the greatest kisser I have ever known. Also he gave me a dope ass compliment today. “you are sexy as hell”. “Actually you’ve surpassed the fires of hell and have reached a level all your own”

Dammnn. This boy.. fuck my life lol
Keep pullin me back in. Them tattoos. Those hands.
Unnfffff.

Matt’s on his way over bc apparently I hate myself and never want to move on :) :) :)