Not sure what triggered these thoughts, but recently I’ve been especially concerned with an answer to a question: what do I do with my life?
I’m sure my partner will say that I’ve been always paranoid and thinking about that, but I feel that now when reached the age of 30, I really need an answer.
I often look at people social media lives, people who I know well or people who I knew before, and think about whether what they do or what they have is something I am missing myself.
For a couple of years now most of my social media feed was full of baby pictures. In my culture generally it is the norm to have a kid or even two before 30. I feel like social pressure grows when you are past 30, whatever the culture you’re living in.
Recently I’ve been wondering: are all those people with kids even ask themselves the same question as I do? Do they find themselves lost in their life? Are they constanly looking for the meaning?
I came to a conclusion: no, they are not. They don’t have time for silly things like that. They have too much to worry about, they need to plan the future of your kids. And if somehow the question arises, they know exactly what the meaning of your life is: raising kids.
I, obviously, don’t have that.
So since I’m thinking about that in this angle, does it mean that my maternal instincts kick in and I’m ready for the next step? I really don’t think so. I feel that if I decide to have kids now it would be mostly out of boredoom. Not sure it’s the right reason.
So there’s gotta be something else for me there, something that is not reliant on traditions. The world has evolved to a point wbere we have a choice, the mindset is just lacking behind.
Where else should I look?
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