Toxic in Who I Am
- Nov. 21, 2017, 9:51 p.m.
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- Public
The store I’m working at is just absolutely toxic. There is NO sense of organization whatsoever. And I’m really trying. But oh. my. lord.
The owner came in to talk to me and was like “you didnt change your mind did you?” and I’m like “NOOOO way” I mean.. today WAS in all honesty a better day. I still felt a bit overwhelmed, but the girls I had on today were really great, and they appreciate everything I’ve done so far for this store. I really do/did want to improve this place.
But i can’t stay. I recognize when things are bad for me and too much, and I will now admit when it gets to be like that. I’m done settling and being unhappy.
Theyre working on a plan for me. Let’s hope it makes me happy. happy enough to stay with this company. because i really do ultimately prefer my job over anything else right now. not the location, but the job itself isn’t bad when you have things under control. it’s just really hard!!!
It’s kind of in a ghetto part of town too. super methy. like people… smell like meth. it’s fuckin disgusting. it makes me gag. so nauseous.
my depression has gotten pretty bad this week. the suicide jokes have definitely been overplayed this week, to the point where im even annoyed with myself.
uhghhhhhhhhh my fucking life right noowwww.
oh and i fucked my ex the other night so theres some more self loathing . i didnt even need to, i just wanted to. fuckin self destruction master over here.
killl meeeee pleaseeee.
Complicated Disaster ⋅ November 22, 2017
*hugs* xx