I wish I knew where to begin.
My mind keeps flipping through pictures
Running like a broken reel
Slow
I think fear takes a lot out of me.
When two lost souls reconnect,
It’s almost as terrifying as it is exhilarating.
I’m not ahead of myself.
Which is probably a first for me.
I learned a long time ago that I had to take things as they came.
Tomorrow the tide might pull him away.
All of this will seem far off.
The sun reflecting in the rearview.
He was always so…restless.
Which is part of what makes him beautiful.
But because of that, I feel this need to cover my chest.
To clench my jaw and not look into his eyes.
Even though it’s something I’ve longed for for years.
As each day passes the reality seems more like a dream.
Hours laying filters, nights darkening the scenes.
It doesn’t fade, just begins to feel more like something that came to me in my sleep.
Where colors are blurred and it seems beyond this world.
He’s in a weird space..
Cloaked in a shadow I’ve never seen.
All of the armor he used to hide in is gone.
He’s honest, and afraid.
I keep my mind from confirming his pain.
He’s cutting himself deep and saying there’s no blood.
Just lines
Just broken skin
My heart says that isn’t true.
Because despite everything, I still feel something in the way.
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